The Passion Path: Don’t Forget Your Why…

The Why… The reason that brought you to where you are. That feeling in your heart. In your gut. In your entire being. It makes your heart swell and your eyes dilate and the emotions wash over you like your whole body is filled with this sense of knowing. The sense that this is why you are here. This is what you what were made for. You know regardless of any logic or reasoning; that you are doing precisely what you were created to do.

If you are blessed enough to be one of those who has found your passion in life …. that thing, that someone, that experience, or that place, group or hobby – you know that nothing compares. Nothing can light you up the way that this does. It pumps through your veins and fills you with life affirming energy that spills out into everything you do.

Choosing this life – the passion path – is such an honour. Once you see it; no, once you feel it, it’s like you don’t have an option. It has called upon you. It has shown you the way from existing to living. This is a place there is no coming back from. And you wouldn’t have it any other way. The life you led before seemed to exist in a parallel universe. To another person, in another time. When you choose the passion path you are reborn. You’re awake. Alive. Fulfilled.

This path is simple to choose. But this path is not easy. It takes your all. Your full heart. Everything is amplified. You feel everything so intensely. You experience in technicolour. Your sensations are heightened. Your pleasure centres full. You breathe in its intensity and exude out its light and essence.

But when you truly give something your all, when you invest all that time, that energy, that power, that force, THAT LOVE… When you have this passion ignited inside of you, it also has the times where it’s beautiful intensity is what burns. It can be your unravelling. It can be your pain. Your breaking point. Your undoing.

The passion path is beautiful. It is for the courageous. It is for the inspired. The living. So when it is not going as you hoped, not as you had dreamed; Remember that along with the sheer wonder and beauty that this passion brings, it would not be so without it’s ability to scold you at times. It’s wondrous intensity goes both ways.

And in these times when your passion breaks you down; in this time when you lose your centre and understanding of how you came to be on this path. When all your sensations are overloaded and the senses are blurred –  this is when you go back to your WHY…Why you chose a life of living over a life of existing.

And allow it to ignite you over and over again.

Love always, Michelle xx

PS This passage was inspired by my father. Growing up, I could never understand why my father made many decisions that he did. Why he chose to spend all his time on the land with his cattle. Why he invested all of his time, energy and money into this part of his world that not only did I not really appreciate, I felt took away from his time with me. Over the years I resented this. I took it to mean I was not loved or important. I created my own set of beliefs around how this placed me in the world.

But now as I unravel all of my limiting beliefs and fearful perceptions and heal my relationship with myself and hence those around me, I can really see this for what it is. The most amazing gift my Dad could have given me. The understanding of passion and devotion to the parts of your world that light you up. That thing or person, that no matter how anyone else sees or experiences it – it doesn’t matter. It brings you joy, growth and understanding of your place in this world.

So thank you Dad for inspiring me to live my life with passion. To go for it when no one else gets it. Thank you for showing me that no matter how hard it appears to get, that without passion igniting my world, I would be purely existing. Not living.

Thank you for showing me what it takes to believe in myself despite all the odds and how to rise up again and again. Thank you for showing me how to love.

I love you. Happy Fathers Day.

Michelle xxx

 

 

Letting Go…Or At Least On The Way

And so it begins. The efforts of my new course starting to take shape.  It’s all happening exactly as it’s supposed to. Unravelling, unfolding all the constructs I hold close to me. All that I do and have used to define myself for so long is starting to move past just being looked at and discussed. It’s moving toward proactive dissolution.

Exciting right!? Not exactly. It’s terrifying at this minute. For a couple of days now, I have felt under a weight I can not seem to shift. A heaviness in my whole body and the energy around me. A silent but strong grip over my whole consciousness that I can’t quite put my finger on. Nothing key or different has happened so why do I feel like this?, I asked myself. And it was not until I started to type that a feeling of knowing washed over me. Not all knowing mind you 😝…. But a glint of why this may be the case.

I am beyond blessed to have come into the path that I have. It would have been easy for me to have missed this opportunity and kept stumbling along through life, making unfulfilling choices and finish another incarnation (my belief) without gaining too much more understanding. But to me clearly it is my time. And when it’s your time to have a breakthrough it doesn’t matter what you are doing or where you are, as long as your mind, heart and soul are open and allowing, real change will find AND serve you.

So now I want to work back through my week that was…..

It was one of those weeks were you can’t quite put your finger on it, but everything seems like it’s a big deal. Some good things, some bad things but definitely nothing indifferent happening. Everything felt like it required a full blown emotional reaction. Each day was very conducive to ending with a big fishbowl of red wine regardless of whether it was to celebrate or commiserate. Blasts from the past took me by surprise and a few hiccups on the financial front got me thinking about my future. But in the present was the gift as always and that was my mother coming over from the west for a visit. Couldn’t have come at a more ideal time.

So I don’t know about you lot. But I am lucky with my mum. I can be hard on her at times for not being as overt and loud as me and therefore seemingly not “being heard” but what she does do like no one I have ever come across, is when she is with you she just knows exactly what I need. She knows exactly what my kids need to and I feel like I actually get to revert a child myself. If only for a few hours here and there. But here in lies the issue.

I am a pretty reactive little soul. I consistently get feedback in life where it would possibly have been beneficial for me to stop and think before I act or speak. The father of my kids calls me the queen of foot in mouth disease. So I stroll out of my course on Sunday on top of the world, completely ready to immerse myself in the idea of breaking free and loving everyone really truly unconditionally. So reactive me goes and invites the past back in by letting down my guard or as we call it in this day and age, I unblocked the blocked people on my social media accounts. Then I go and sit down and try to sort out my future by planning and budgeting. These are things I do not normally do. I am a bit of a fly by the seat of my own pants kind of gal and honestly, it just caused me extremely unhelpful anxiety.

Just normal life stuff really. But then my mum rocks in. All comforting, nurturing, concerned and loving. And all it took was for her to say, how are you and I caved. I am strong. I have been through a lot and I still always try to make those around me smile but this time I couldn’t hold it together. I just let it all out. I sobbed. Like a baby. I just completely broke down. I surprised even myself. I am emotional but I thought I had this all figured out way more than this. I hadn’t felt like anything was that wrong. Every aspect of my world is going well. So where are all these heavy emotions coming from?

Well the epiphany I feel I had as I started writing is, they didn’t come from anywhere. The emotions have always been there. Whatever outside circumstances that are part of the story now is no different to any of my past experiences. The situations are re-creating and re-creating throughout my life, increasing with intensity until I actually do something about it. They have just been brought to the surface for me to feel, look at and if I am diligent and purposeful I can finally let this shit go for real.

So this space I have been in. This seemingly heavy load. Isn’t dark and terrifying at all. It is a powerful space. A place where I can choose to take a path that will nourish me in my soul. It is all about perspective. Time to turn it around for real.

Then I remembered this quote one of the other beautiful humans in my course sited across the table….

Living in the past can lead to depression; living in the future can lead to anxiety; thats why we should always live in the present. For in the present is the gift of life.

Enjoy your gift of life

Much love, Michelle xxx