Triggering Strengths

If you look into many of the careers of the most compassionate, effective, highly regarded psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors, life coaches and social workers they are often so tuned into their niche, as they have experienced some or many of the aspects in which they facilitate. They understand the process from both sides of the fence. They have figured out the genuine link between the phenomenon that our greatest strengths can also trigger our greatest emotional responses.

As I seek and relinquish to be of service in this profession and soul purpose, I am the first to realise that my area of both strength and massive learning and growth opportunities, is connection.

I have spoken on multiple occasions about this through this blog and on my social media.  Connection. The reason behind all that I am doing. Connection to self. Connection in love. Connection in family. Connection in friendships. Connection to professions. Connection to the community. The arts. Humanity. Mother nature. The Universe.

And as the universe is so kind and loving and wants me to learn and grow, this week has been a series of events around this very topic in multiple facets of my life. Friends, family and career have all featured in this weeks soul lessons.

I uncomfortably voiced to my friends some of the personal stuff thats been going on for me. Vulnerability, although I am so aware of it’s power, is still not always comfortable and I started by pushing them away. They, as the keepers do, came back in full force and surrounded me with love. I am blessed. A lesson that connection is safe.

Career was an interesting one. I attended a talk by some local inspiring entrepreneurs that I admire both the business model and the philosophies and culture behind all that they do. Throughout they kept weaving in the importance of connection with those that inspire you and can help you both personally and professionally to grow. I was on the edge of my seat really involved in all that was being said; until the end of the talk arrived and we were invited to come and say hello. I completely shifted gears. Anxiety took over and I rushed for the exit. I kicked myself the whole way home. What a wasted opportunity for connection and networking with people who have been where I am and have gotten to where I want to be.

So, I snapped out of it. I couldn’t undo what had happened but I could still influence what is to come with my actions right then and there. So I stalked them online, got emails and sent them a open honest email about all I just wrote. How inspired I was by them. How much I got from the talk and how I let my fear get the better of me in that moment. I still felt a bit bummed as I took myself off to bed. But when I left work the next day I was floored.

Not only did they respond, they checked out my blog, my website and were full of praise and encouragement. Along with the offer for guidance whenever I need it and that next time I can pass on even a hand shake and go straight for a hug!

OMG I knew they were my kind of people! Beautiful souls, willing to share, nourish, guide and encourage others to live their full potential. Keepers. Another strong example that connection is safe.

The final and by far and away the most soul cleansing of the week, my father. A strong hard working man from the old school generation in which although we are loved immensely, he held his cards close to his chest. When he was not working the farm, which was rare, he was not one to display affection. I have played this dynamic over and over in my life with other males. No ones fault. Just our journey. But today he rang me. I was out with the kids so asked him to call me back. Then my anxiety peaked. Why was he calling? Was something wrong? Is he sick? Even I was shocked at the intensity of the stress I was putting myself through. I was expecting the worst.

So when he rang back all of 45 of the longest minutes later, I was ready to shut down. He seemingly picked up on my demeanour and proceeded to do all the talking! This is generally my domain. But he had my back. He eased me in and we ended up connecting for a good 36 minute chat! I can not express how huge this is. How cathartic and cleansing for me. And for him. That I believe.

I can see that as I work through these things within myself, those around me have either stepped up to show me strength and support or have eased and softened towards me. The stayers in my world are moulding with me. Those that were meant to come and go have done so or will do so. I am happy. I am safe. And I am always connected.

It is this that I look forward to growing into even further and sharing with every soul I am blessed enough to come across in my experience. I truly feel, think, know and believe that my journey, my lessons, my experience and now studies and skill set will allow me to be of such great service to so many of us that feel a lack of connection and are ready to feel again.

In this world, we are increasingly disconnected. Busy is glorified. Most of our daily interactions are through a screen. Many of us coast through assuming that that lack or  wanting for something else is just a normal part of existing. But I am here to tell you it is not. I doesn’t have to feel that way.

Connection is safe. And it is the basis of all strength, love, joy and passion in this wondrous experience we are blessed to call life.

Live it.

Love and light, Michelle xxx

 

By Simply Trying We Are Successful

Now we’ve become quite the generations of preachers haven’t we? And I would be lying if I said I wasn’t one of them. And that’s all good. We’re a passionate bunch and I love passion. But SOOOOOOOOOOOOO many of us (myself included) are so good at giving advice and completely shit at listening to our own wisdom.

I know there are multiple reasons for this, usually something to do with us being to emotionally attached to our own situations to see them from a rational standpoint, but there are elements of this that I think we as adults could get better at right away.

I am talking about resilience. How many of you would call yourself a resilient person? I have always considered myself to be. And in some ways I am. I mean I’m still kicking around with a smile on my face despite some pretty heavy stuff going down in my life. But isn’t that all of us? Haven’t we all got some pretty heavy stuff going on? Well many of us anyway.

My children go to a school where one of the core values is RESILIENCE. You know the thing whereby we just keep getting up and dusting ourselves off regardless of how seemingly huge the obstacles are. The will, the want, the knowhow to get to the goals we want to achieve.

Kids are insanely resilient. They face so many new things every day and they more often then not go at it full force or at least give it a crack. They make new friends easily. They learn how to read and write. To do Maths and sports. Swimming. Art. Music. And a multitude of other things. All the while with their hopefully supportive teachers, classmates, parents and families there by their sides reassuring them that it is safe to have a go.

Does this one sound familiar? “It’s only failure if you stop trying” …or  “failure is not the outcome; failure is not trying to begin with” ….

As parents and elders in the community we spout many saying such as these to the younger generation. And its all good and well. They are inspiring messages. But I want you to stop right now and ask yourself; Do you feel you are following the same approach to your day to day life?

Are you where you want to be? If no… are you taking action to change the situation you are in or are you just continuously talking about it, complaining about it and hoping it will all change on its own?

We want the next generation to be the best, happiest most content versions of themselves. But why does that have to mean our time has past?

I am 32 years young and often in conversation with people of similar ages I hear stories of defeat. Of how they wish they could go back and change the course of what has happened. I used to speak like that too. But now I come from a place of NO WAY do I want to go back! I wouldn’t have learnt all the lessons I have learnt and be the person I am today without those experiences; win or failure or indifferent.

Every single thing we have experienced in this life was leading you to somewhere. I encourage you to sit down and write a list of three things:

  1. WINS/ACCOMPLISHMENTS
  2. CHALLENGES/AREAS FOR GROWTH – perceived failures I just don’t love the word
  3. EXPERIENCES THAT HAVE HAD AN IMPACT ON YOU IN SOME WAY

Look at the list. Study it. I almost hands down guarantee that all these three areas will tie together and if you look at it extensively enough it may even give you a little sense of direction or purpose. It may inspire you to utilise your life skills in a new and more inspiring or exciting way. Or you may just feel blessed at the life you have already created and want to keep living.

Either way, its a really interesting exercise and helps to shift perspective on our life overall. Many of us have achieved and experienced so much more than we give ourselves credit for. And it is often this lack of worthiness that colours our world and gets a into this place where we stop trying new things.

I think we often make the ideal of success so seemingly far out of our reach it is often so far from where we are we think what is the point of even starting. Its time to change the mindset of what success actually is. Break it down. Make every little win a reason to celebrate and every perceived challenge or “failure” an opportunity to learn.We stop putting ourselves out there through fear of failing or embarrassing ourselves.

But I say enough. You get one chance in this body. Live it the way you want to! Do stuff that makes you excited. Makes you feel alive. Inspires you. Brings a grin to your face and gets you bubbling with enthusiasm and excitement.

Whatever it may be! Just have a go!

I’ll leave you this week with this. Its a link to a clip of me teaching myself to play keyboard. I am by no means great but I love to have a sing and it makes me happy. So why shouldn’t I give it a go!

Love and Light, Michelle xxx