5 Ways To Pull Yourself Out Of The Pressure Zone and Be More Productive

It’s that time of year isn’t it? All of the things you haven’t done are adding up and if where you live is anything like here in Melbourne, Australia – the deadlines appear to be looming as the city prepares itself to go into sleep mode over the Christmas/New Year period.

I did a live on my Facebook page around two weeks ago about this exact thing. (Check it out with the link below) How quick we are to pile up all the crap we haven’t done and didn’t achieve within the year but how slow we are to pull to the front of our mind all the things we have.

https://www.facebook.com/soulboundthemovement/

Classic female! Or people pleaser. Or over achiever.

Because really if we look at the feeling behind it; if we can just say we knocked all these things off our to do list and smashed all our goals – we would finally be worthy. We would finally be a success. We would finally be the epic human being that we always knew we could be.

Right!? Or would you just find more things to add to your list?

I too am guilty of this. A couple of weeks ago it was not looking pretty. Juggling two career roles, single parenting, kids social activities, planning a trip to the west, running my household and finances and still putting my hand up to weed the school garden sent me into overwhelm. However for me these times are becoming less and less and for shorter periods of time simply due to the work I have immersed myself in and the tools I choose to implement.

Meeting ourselves exactly where we are at can be one of the most challenging aspects of self love. Meeting our goals and living up to the expectations we put on ourselves is a relentless cycle of extreme ups and downs. That is is you forget to do any of the following:

  1. Write down all your achievements! Ok okay. So there are things you didn’t get to yet. Yet! This doesn’t mean you won’t. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time to tackle it. Maybe it isn’t meant for you. Maybe there are some things you still need to do or learn first before you tackle this. So shift your focus to just how epic you are. Start small even if it is just that you got up every day. You are here reading this seeking a better way. That voice inside you knows you deserve and this for you. And chances are as you start this list it will all start to flow and you’ll be in absolute awe of how awesome you truly are! Sit in this state and lap it up!
  2. Reach out! Speak to someone you trust. We were never designed to do this journey on our own. You having needs is not a burden and your partner friends and colleagues are not mind readers. (Well they may be -but just incase) Ask for what you need on a personal level. Be honest. If they don’t want to or can’t help that is on them to decide. If you don’t ask you don’t get. This goes for the universe too!
  3. Delegate and prioritise. I am a closet control freak at times. Not trusting others to do it for me the way I would do it for me. But you can not be all things to all people. If you don’t enjoy a task, delegate it to someone who will. Otherwise you will just spend all your time stressed, overwhelmed or procrastinating hoping that it will go away. This leads to a poor job or strain in all the other areas of your life. So let go and delegate. This gives you a way easier task of prioritising what is important to do. Where you should be spending your time and freeing you up to get your flow on and be the most productive version of you.
  4. Where is the pressure actually coming from? Acknowledge it. Is it really all these external factors or is it (and sorry but way more likely) internal. You need to own this. Were you verbally told you would be fired or not loved by your family if you didn’t get your to do list done? Probs not. Obviously at work there are things that need doing and targets that need to be hit but it is up to you to manage this. If it is too much speak to your senior. Explain how you are feeling and be proactive with how you could change it to suit you both. And if it’s not met with genuine concern of your wellbeing then be brave enough to admit that that may not be the right fit for you. At home same goes. Communicate your needs. Stand your ground. If you want someone to meet you halfway be an adult and lead the way.
  5. Give yourself some space to be creative. Whatever creativity means to you. Pop on a song and allow it to wash over you. Draw. Daydream. Write. Sing. Do a cryptic crossword. Juggle. Dance. Whatever it is, the point is that you just let yourself be for some time. Schedule it in. It is so important for your mental and emotional health. When you are in overwhelm you are functioning completely in fight or flight. Bring yourself back into yourself with the strong intention that play is equally as important as work and rest. If not more. You simply can not be physiologically operating at your optimum if you do not do this. So take a break and feel yourself. Then you can come back to it from a more relaxed and recharged state of being.

So there you have it. Five really simple and affective things you could do right NOW for yourself to shift yourself from pressure and overwhelm into a more relaxed and productive state of being.

And we know that is where our best work and self is at. Stop making it harder than it needs to be for yourself.

You got this!

Live in love and flow

Michelle xxx

Act As If

Hands up who has heard of the phrase “act as if”. Often cited in the words of manifesting guides and the “Law of Attraction” and other such methods of attracting abundance and creating the life you truly desire.

“Act as if” basically requires one to live, breathe and believe they are creating the life and future they truly want to experience.

So where is the line you ask,  between allowing yourself to go there and visualise this alternate future reality and just being downright delusional? Or is there even a line?

There is so much to be said for the way children go about “make believe”. They dive in with such curiosity and feeling that they go to that place in which the game they are immersed in, does for that moment in time, become their reality. Like those weeks in which my son would predominantly act as if he were a cat, purring and meowing at everything I said or did. Or those months in which my daughter would only go by the name “Rainbow Dash Sparkle Glitter Princess” To them that place they created for themselves was more enjoyable than their other reality options so they chose to stay in the one that brought them joy. This makes a crap load of sense to me. Kids are smart.

So although as adults it is necessary to have a firm grasp on the realities that provide us the basics like shelter, food, clothing and money – many of us are opening the peripheries  to this kind of mindset training. Awesome! BUT… how quickly we give up hope when that 1k, or that new car, or that dream boyfriend, we asked for doesn’t show up near on immediately.

We get disheartened so easily from the process. If we don’t get quick results how do we know it is even working. And then it just becomes another thing we are giving our time and energy to and getting seemingly nowhere.

But this is where the true gold lies. Ok so if were honest most of us go into manifesting with some material goal in mind. We want more money. Or a home. Or a new wardrobe. Or a holiday etc etc… Because when we get these things we will be happy right? Right? Hmmmmmmm…… will you? Only you can truly answer that.

The thing is though – if 2/3 of you is going into goal reaching and manifesting with the right intentions but there is still 1/3 of you that is voicing the opposite can you see how confusing the message can be? Even 1/8 of you not believing will slow the process down.

FRUSTURATING RIGHT! Ha! I know. And this is where I see it to be all backward. So many of these mindsets are marketed at the influx of material items. Now please don’t get me wrong. Financial freedom and material items are great! I love money, experiences nice clothes and holidays. And it is 1000000000% normal and ok to want for it. But what is the 1/3 or 1/8 of you that doesn’t believe you can truly live the life you want to actually saying. Why is it that you actually feel like you do not have that capacity within you to get all the things you want in life?

I bet its not saying “a holiday a year is a bit excessive don’t you think” or “enough money to pay you bills comfortably is selfish”  It all comes back to how we view ourselves in the world. Our self love and knowledge that we are indeed WORTHY! This is it. That simple. And it will reverberate into every aspect of your being.

So this is why the “act as if” phrase to me is a beautiful piece of wisdom. Unlock that inner child in you. The one that knows how to make believe and go into that space in which you are the superhero of your own existence. Or the cat or princess. Hey everyones dream is different;) Really access that space within you that is carefree and creative and play with the vision. Allow it to wash over you. FEEL it. Anchor it in to the cells in your body. Allow it to be your reality.

Then that feeling. That pulsing or warmth or lightness or buzzing or whatever it is that you feel in you; FOLLOW IT. Use that as your guide to make every decision in your life. Following the vibrational energy you want to become. Create the energetic vibration and then live it every day. It truly is this simple. But no-one ever said it was going to be easy.

Show up every day. Love yourself first. Bring out that inner child and celebrate all that you already have.

The rest will come… then before you know it, you’re no longer acting.

Love and light, Michelle xx

 

Recognising Lesson Cycles

People, places, situations change; energy doesn’t. This is the exact line my first spiritual mentor used to say to me as I would sit across from him trying to make sense of why I felt and behaved in the ways I did and do.

Honestly at the time, this line would often infuriate me. I didn’t get it and all I wanted was an answer to my question. A solution to my problem. Some straight up CLARITY! At the time, I didn’t realise that that was exactly what he was giving me. He was planting the seed. He held no attachment to when that seed sprouted and took a life of its own. And as all personal growth can only be; it was up to me to water and nurture that seedling until it was strong enough to break through the soil of perceived life dramas and out into the open air and light. Into real living.

Another step forward or shift has happened in me of late. I had felt down. Low. Defeated. But with all my skills, knowledge and self belief I pulled myself around to move further into my growth and freedom. And the turn around is getting easier and easier. Not easy. But easier.

Part of the worry is that I am not necessarily feeling like my old self. I know thats the whole point right! Lol. But the thing is as I have previously mentioned it is scary to think that you may move away, leave or even outgrow people. Letting go is scary and hard. We long for what we know and our comfort zone. The familiar. Even if it doesn’t serve us and the reality is nowhere near where we truly want to be, it somehow feels safe.

Again people have popped up to show they are not necessarily comfortable with the journey that I am on. That they possibly thought it would be a phase and I would go back to my status quo. I understand now more than ever that change in one affects so many around us. Never underestimate the ripple affect you have on your immediate world and the world as a whole.

Many of us seek the spiritual world or something outside of ourselves when we are struggling. But as the initial pain eases and we think things are better or improved it is easier to stop the discovery journey and settle into the new space you find yourself in. Often if people around you once sort solace in the spiritual realm and then moved away from it when they felt better, that place can seem to have a negative connotation to it. It is a place you go when you feel lost or sad. So their concern from their perception is an understandable one. Coming from a place of love. They don’t want you in a dark place and they don’t want you sad.

But seemingly forgotten is that this is a never ending journey. There are steps. Lessons. Ever evolving changes. And whether you like it or not if you are meant to deal with it the situations will arise in order for you to do so. And past the place of understanding on the surface level is an even deeper connection. A certain empowerment that once you get a taste for, you are hooked. Indescribable unless experienced I guess. A little bit like the “only a surfer knows the feeling” philosophy. Except it’s all happening within. No need to wait for mother nature to provide the perfect conditions. They are always already in you.

So my repeat soul lesson from this above scenario of being concerned I am concerning others, is the same old thing that I deal with in every facet of my life over and over again. Should I put others needs in front of my own in order to “maintain being loved”.

This pops up everywhere in my life. In relationships. At work. In my family. With friends. With my children. On social media. In this blog. I have recurring situations in which I constantly question myself on if I am true to myself do I risk not being loved.

Well I can honestly say its becoming more and more a risk I am willing to take! Real love is always around me. The people who stay in my life are the ones that are supposed to. I trust that I am loved and that I am safe. And most importantly I am giving that to myself by ensuring my decisions are all aligned to what I want and need.

So how do you recognise your life lessons? Firstly, I highly recommend, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. Not always fun, not always easy. But essential in life.

  • Write down the areas of your life that you are not happy with or that have really affected you in the past.
  • Systematically, go through the list.
  • With each scenario, close your eyes. Take the story out of your mind and connect to the feeling. Place one hand on your gut and one on your heart. What are they telling you? What is it that you feel you need in this space that you are currently not believing is or was there?
  • Open your eyes and write down the first thing that comes up. Don’t filter yourself. Just write.

Do this for each of the scenarios and it would be extremely normal to find some patterns emerging. There may be multiple lessons embedded in these scenarios. But it will bring some clarity to what these areas are.

It is so easy to get caught up in the he said, she said, he/she didn’t do, say, think, act exactly how I wanted them to in order for me to get what I think I want saga.

Well if you take ownership of that and acknowledge that the only person who knows and can consistently deliver what you want and need is YOU, then the real journey to empowerment begins.

This in lies exactly what my mentor was outlining to me all those 11 years ago. It does not matter who is in front of you – husband, wife, father, mother, boss, friend, colleague, stranger. It doesn’t matter where you are – home, work, in a mansion, in commission housing, in a bar, on holiday, stuck in a rut. It doesn’t matter what the situation – romantic dynamic, work dynamic, in a spa at a resort talking with friends, on the sporting field, on a yoga retreat.

Life is going to happen and you are going to be triggered. And the energy at play will be down to whatever your experience has been in order for the lessons you need to learn to play out. You are going to – whether you like it or not – have emotional and energetic feelings to outside stimuli. And the ONLY thing you can control in every single scenario… is your response.

Not the energy. Nope. That will still be there. It will always still be fear of rejection or not feeling appreciated or not being enough. Or whatever it may be for you. That will always be in you.

What changes is your attachment to it. Or how much you continue to believe it to be true.

Are you with me? Get in touch and lets work through decreasing the strength of these  attachments. Life is so much lighter on the other side of holding on and fear:) http://www.soulboundtm.com

Love and light, Michelle xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The Fear Rationale

Fear. Procrastination inducer. Self saboteur ring leader. Keeper to the gates around ones heart. Anxiety generator. Instigator of blame. Projection master.

Yet at key times; our closest ally.

It is said we are only born with two types of fears. Fear of falling and fear of loud noises. If I am to break this down for you; have you ever felt you’ve been teetering on the brink of REM sleep and suddenly either with or without you remembering what triggers it you are suddenly jolted awake? It felt like you fell. Maybe you remember what was happening in your dream, maybe you don’t. But your unconscious is telling you it felt like you fell; OR have you ever jumped out of your skin at a loud noise? Even if you see all the events that lead up to the noise being created or you have experienced that noise before on multiple occasions yet it still startles you.

I always found these experiences so intriguing. After the initial shock of it all that is. It feels so real. Like even though on one level you can rationalise the experience it FEELS SO REAL. So when I heard this explanation that resonated with me, my interest in this whole phenomenon of fear spiked.

So two types of fear they say… You see it is thought by many in the spiritual and the scientific world that these fears are indeed innate. Encoded in our DNA. They exist in all human beings as survival mechanisms. The fear of falling is thought to stem from the experience of our soul dropping down into our body and trying to figure out exactly how to shift into this new state. From light to physical matter. Survival mode. As once in the human form, the act of falling from any great height challenges our very mortality.

The fear of loud noises is also encoded as a survival technique. Loud noises can often signify or alert us to danger and the need for the sympathetic nervous system flight or flight to kick in. Take a read below.

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/10/29/health/science-of-fear/

So think about this for a moment. All the other fears and phobias we experience as human beings are down to environmental conditioning. All of them. Every single thing outside of falling (or heights/skydiving/anything that results in possible falling) or loud noises is not a fear you have to just live with. It is not something you just have to accept as part of yourself and lose out on some valuable life experiences due to it.

Now you may be saying I am ok with not going near spiders or snakes or doing public speaking. And that may be fine. Like any change things generally need to get uncomfortable in the status quo before we seek to alter it. But I am talking here more about the less discussed fears. The ones we don’t like to own up to. The ones we will do almost anything to avoid even acknowledging let alone working to dissolve them. Those buggers are the worst. Or are they? Depends, as always, on perception.

This past month the Consciousness Coaches and myself have been set a challenge by our leader (ha didn’t mean that to sound extra terrestrial but we are all amazingly out of this world!;) It was called the FUCK FEAR CHALLENGE. Every single day for 30 days we were held accountable by ourselves and each other to post on our group page one fear we faced that day and any action we took around leaning into it. And let me tell you no word of a lie; it was one of the most PROFOUND things I have ever been a part of.

Every single one of us made some massive shifts. We let go of things that no longer serve us. We acknowledged parts of ourselves we were ashamed of or scared of sharing out of fear of being rejected or unlovable. We faced financial survival fears. Attachment to material things. The desire for material things. Allowing in love. Being seen. Expressing around the notion of not being enough. Facing people who had done wrong by us. Boundary building. Workplace shifts. Standing up and holding our own space when we weren’t being respected. Speaking our truth to those close to us. Learning when to save our energy and just exit the situation. Learning to honour our bodies and our urges……The list goes on and on and on. The shifts were incredible and oh so freakin inspiring! And let me tell you they all come back to the environmental ideas we create that if we are not (*insert whatever you tell yourself here) we wont be loved, accepted, connected and hence part of the tribe.

But the one thing we all agreed on at the end was how incredible the lens of fear can be. How crippling. How strong. But how wonderful it is too. It honestly became our friend.

Without fear there is no motivation. No driving force. No incentive to change. No hope for a different outcome or future. Without fear there is no way that any of us would ever actually grow. We would all just be happy cruising along in our standard little lives never really experiencing all the things that life has to offer. Not truly LIVING! GROWING! EVOLVING!

So next time you notice a fear come up in you, jot it down. Sit with it. What is it trying to protect you from? Some will be rational. Some irrational. But what is it truly masking? Because it is sitting in you as a catalyst for change. It is exciting. It is your future. And you can take it, acknowledge it and then pop it aside so you can step even more into your light every single time.

The choice is all yours. Are you willing?

Love and light, Michelle xxx