Signs, Lessons and Roundabouts

Life is grand… everything is going along exactly as I had hoped and planned. I am kicking goals and ticking boxes left, right and centre. It has been so much growth in such a short time, and this week I stepped it up a notch again. I signed with a mentor that will push me and help me fill the gaps in my business knowledge. I was asked to join a social therapy group team and I ran my first solo workshop.

However in the back of my mind, I am acutely aware at this point in time I am scared, no TERRIFIED, of my greatness.

I see an amazing Kinesiologist. One of my many mentors and teachers. She came to see me as a client and had a great session but what she said to me after resonated as I knew it was the truth. She commented that she could FEEL I was shielding some of my light. Like I was holding back. Not completely stepping into my power. A theme that has run through my life.

Up until recently I, like many, was comfortable living in victim mentality. Where life just happens to us and we really don’t have any control over our outer circumstances and how we think and behave. But lately it hasn’t been enough for me anymore and I have thrown myself into life where I am creating the reality that lights me up.

That being said, the rest of your life, patterns and experiences don’t just disappear and today it all welled up. All the what ifs. What if I am not good enough? What if I fail? What if I succeed but nobody I love is ok with my new life? Why is it so hard for me? Why does everyone else seem to get it easy?

It is amazing the bullshit that we throw into the mix when we are bashing ourselves up.

So reluctantly, I took myself out of the house to go to a coffee date I had organised many weeks ago. My first ever client, now friend, that was my guinea pig for my Super Soul Sessions. Two seconds in she could see I wasn’t myself and honestly I wasn’t doing a great job of pretending otherwise. Despite the fact we are now friends, I still put all these expectations on myself as to how I “should” behave in front of her.

But I was in it and as unbelievably uncomfortable as it made me, the self proclaimed “fixer” in the dynamic, I wasn’t in a space to pull myself up. So she whisked me out the cafe door to go and find nature.

As we walked along and she made small talk as I gave nothing back, she stopped and began to chuckle. I looked up. “You’re fucking kidding me!” I proclaimed.

There right in the window of a random store on the side of the road was a giant rug. In coloured writing it simply said “Open Up Your Heart”. ¬†“Well I have to say, you always get such clear signs from the universe Michelle” she said.

Well that was it. I began to cry. We walked a little further until my tears turned into sobs and I sat myself down on a tram stop bench. She sat next to me as I lent over and cried on her shoulder.

We sat in silence for a bit. Then as if I was sitting with Yoda, she began to speak.

“You know your intuition is quite remarkable Michelle. You sat yourself down in front of a building site. Look at all the big signs right in front of you! It is so relevant!”

We began to laugh. The signs were like “Take care – deep excavation in progress” “Safety Gear Required At All Times” & “Under Construction” – These signs were like a metaphor for my life right now.

As we giggled and sat with the sun on our faces the wisdom and beautiful insights poured out of her. And as I sat there and lapped up all the golden insights and different perspectives on how my journey is going, the resounding feeling was gratitude. Gratitude for her. Gratitude for the words. Gratitude for the lessons. Gratitude for my humaness.

Regardless of who you are, your title, your role in the dynamic or whatever other labels or boxes you put around yourself. You are having a human experience. And every single one of us is capable of teaching all the rest of us a thing or two.

When you allow yourself to open and be your authentic self, the lessons flow your way thick and fast and all those empty spaces no longer seem so dark and vast.

Be open to connecting and learning. Always. Every single soul has some beautiful wisdom to bring to the world that could in a second, change yours.

Love and light

Michelle xxx

It’s Universal

So whilst I may not be in any romantic type of relationship right now, the relationship I am having with the universe is at an all time high. We are loving each other. Understanding each other. Communicating. Consulting. Respecting. Nourishing. Spooning. Ok well, maybe not the last bit. Which is lucky because if girls could get that from the universe too, boys could be in big trouble!

But honestly, not even I could for see how this relationship I am having with whatever you deem the higher power to be, would play out. I personally believe in the universe. I believe in energy. But whatever you chose to call it; it’s faith.

So lately, I have noticed signs every where I go and in many things I do. Recurring conversations with completely different people. Number patterns. Answers come to me in meditation that bring me good outcomes to situations. As in anything you do, with awareness and practice it becomes more and more like second nature and you are drawn to what you know. This is a massively amazing thing if you think about it. Its is like that quote “Be the change you want to see.” Once you start acting out on your hopes, dreams and wishes, you automatically immerse yourself in the world you want to create. You create your destiny. You create your reality.

Now this mindset can seemingly piss people right off. I have found that on multiple occasions of late that my belief in the above philosophies and the fact I believe no one is given a dream that they can not fulfil rubs some people right up the wrong way. I was told that it is building people up when not everyone is capable of greatness. I would say everyone has a different idea of what greatness is. And I think a person who believes in themselves, treats themselves and others with compassion and kindness and lives according to their own values and morals is a pretty fucking great human.

Yes ok, not everyone can be a famous movie star or sportsman or barrister or whatever the other “important people” titles these people have stated in their arguments against my beliefs. But from what I have come to know is not everyone wants to be that either. Many billions of souls are not inspired by that. Although when one is living in the land of ego and believe that status, fame, money and material items are whats needed to be happy then they could well think that that is what they indeed want and need in order to be fulfilled. But I bet if you cut through the shit to the core what they really want 11 times out of 10 something entirely different. Like love. Respect. Validation. To be wanted. Acknowledged. Be a part of something. Worthy. It’s not the things itself that drives them. It is all fear based emotions. Now not to say this is true of all people with stuff and status. Just true for the ones who think that the status and stuff alone will be what makes their lives better.

A beautiful example of a fucking great human is this man that comes into the cafe I work at. He has had an accident. He is in a wheelchair and is paralysed down the left side of his body. He is the same age as me. 31 years old. He has two children just like me. Quite confronting a story when I first learnt it all. We now chat every time he comes in. We became friends on social media. And his kindness and the open and loving things he posts bring a tear to my eye every time. He is open. He is compassionate. He is aware. He almost lost his chance to live this life. So unlike those stuck in a fear based mentality he appreciates all of the every day things he gets to experience. Spending time with his boys. His friends and family. And his passion of cars. Not ironically the reason he has had these experiences. And yet he still loves cars. Because he knows if this didn’t happen then he wouldn’t ¬†understand that to him greatness means being alive and present with all the people that he loves and cares for. So while clearly he won’t be a movie star or an athlete or anything of that nature, he has started a group for young individuals like himself to be part of and go through the healing journey together. Alongside some hotted up cars of course. And he always states without a doubt he has found his purpose. His niche. His genius zone.

I find this so beautiful and inspiring. And I honestly believe that when you are open and aware and a dream or vision comes to you, it is a message directed to you from a higher power. It is your soul purpose or one of the equally important steps you need to undertake in order to re-align with the soul. Whatever it is. It is your little niche. And it certainly doesn’t need to be validated or understood by anyone else. May I ask why we can be so quick to cut people down when they express their hopes and dreams rather than encouraging them to try and building them up? Just because you don’t understand something DOES NOT MAKE IT WRONG. It just means it isn’t right for you at that point in time.

So next time someone says they a going to give something a go, try resist the urge to knock the wind out to them. Be a good human. Build people up. Because I see through it. It is your own fears that lead you to have that response. Take a step back and ask yourself why someone else’s success and happiness threatens you and your beliefs?

We are all worthy and capable of greatness. END OF.

Much love, Michelle xxx