Act As If

Hands up who has heard of the phrase “act as if”. Often cited in the words of manifesting guides and the “Law of Attraction” and other such methods of attracting abundance and creating the life you truly desire.

“Act as if” basically requires one to live, breathe and believe they are creating the life and future they truly want to experience.

So where is the line you ask,  between allowing yourself to go there and visualise this alternate future reality and just being downright delusional? Or is there even a line?

There is so much to be said for the way children go about “make believe”. They dive in with such curiosity and feeling that they go to that place in which the game they are immersed in, does for that moment in time, become their reality. Like those weeks in which my son would predominantly act as if he were a cat, purring and meowing at everything I said or did. Or those months in which my daughter would only go by the name “Rainbow Dash Sparkle Glitter Princess” To them that place they created for themselves was more enjoyable than their other reality options so they chose to stay in the one that brought them joy. This makes a crap load of sense to me. Kids are smart.

So although as adults it is necessary to have a firm grasp on the realities that provide us the basics like shelter, food, clothing and money – many of us are opening the peripheries  to this kind of mindset training. Awesome! BUT… how quickly we give up hope when that 1k, or that new car, or that dream boyfriend, we asked for doesn’t show up near on immediately.

We get disheartened so easily from the process. If we don’t get quick results how do we know it is even working. And then it just becomes another thing we are giving our time and energy to and getting seemingly nowhere.

But this is where the true gold lies. Ok so if were honest most of us go into manifesting with some material goal in mind. We want more money. Or a home. Or a new wardrobe. Or a holiday etc etc… Because when we get these things we will be happy right? Right? Hmmmmmmm…… will you? Only you can truly answer that.

The thing is though – if 2/3 of you is going into goal reaching and manifesting with the right intentions but there is still 1/3 of you that is voicing the opposite can you see how confusing the message can be? Even 1/8 of you not believing will slow the process down.

FRUSTURATING RIGHT! Ha! I know. And this is where I see it to be all backward. So many of these mindsets are marketed at the influx of material items. Now please don’t get me wrong. Financial freedom and material items are great! I love money, experiences nice clothes and holidays. And it is 1000000000% normal and ok to want for it. But what is the 1/3 or 1/8 of you that doesn’t believe you can truly live the life you want to actually saying. Why is it that you actually feel like you do not have that capacity within you to get all the things you want in life?

I bet its not saying “a holiday a year is a bit excessive don’t you think” or “enough money to pay you bills comfortably is selfish”  It all comes back to how we view ourselves in the world. Our self love and knowledge that we are indeed WORTHY! This is it. That simple. And it will reverberate into every aspect of your being.

So this is why the “act as if” phrase to me is a beautiful piece of wisdom. Unlock that inner child in you. The one that knows how to make believe and go into that space in which you are the superhero of your own existence. Or the cat or princess. Hey everyones dream is different;) Really access that space within you that is carefree and creative and play with the vision. Allow it to wash over you. FEEL it. Anchor it in to the cells in your body. Allow it to be your reality.

Then that feeling. That pulsing or warmth or lightness or buzzing or whatever it is that you feel in you; FOLLOW IT. Use that as your guide to make every decision in your life. Following the vibrational energy you want to become. Create the energetic vibration and then live it every day. It truly is this simple. But no-one ever said it was going to be easy.

Show up every day. Love yourself first. Bring out that inner child and celebrate all that you already have.

The rest will come… then before you know it, you’re no longer acting.

Love and light, Michelle xx

 

Total Acceptance (1) – Jealousy

One of the toughest parts of learning to love ourselves in our entirety, is the complexity of self shaming. When we look outside of ourselves for validation or acknowledgment. When we look to society and our environment to dictate and mould how our lives should look. If we ourselves do not feel we measure up to these perceived ideals of our external environment, we tell ourselves there is something wrong with us. We tell ourselves we are not enough.

We all walk our own path. Have our own unique dynamics, experiences and lessons that help guide the lens in which we look at this world. In order to shift our perception from struggle, pain, fear and ego to light and love for all that is, we know that the first step to change is acknowledgement. This is well documented. Personal growth starts with owning your shit and the willingness to take action to change it.

However, often once we start to truly look into all parts of ourselves and what makes us tick we undoubtedly uncover deep parts within us that we don’t really like or want to own. These thoughts, beliefs, actions and emotions are equally a part of us as the cool, fun, shiny stuff we appreciate about ourselves; and behind the dark exterior, its power to propel us to the life we truly want is palpable.

So this week lets look into the emotion of JEALOUSY. This is a widely shamed emotion to express. Often called the root of all evil, a disease, a monster, a curse only experienced by those who have no self esteem. If you express jealousy, you are automatically seen as weak. It is almost a taboo emotion and one that triggers a huge amount of self shaming behaviours.

Unfortunately, the intensity is increased due to the double nature of the emotion in which we not only feel bad in ourselves for feeling that way but we are also harbouring negativity toward the person or situation we are in fact jealous of. Clearly, this results in one big cycle of negative energy and suppression.

As is my intention behind all that I do, I like to express something real. Something for you, the reader to connect to. To understand that I am speaking both from a place of knowledge and understanding. Something authentic and relatable. This week jealousy reared its intriguing head into my consciousness and I have had an interesting experience unpacking it.

This time it was amongst friends. Being the only single mum in the group and busy juggling all the things that I am choosing to do in this stage of my life, my social life has taken a bit of a back seat. And although I have chosen this, it did not help me rationalise why I was feeling left out and jealous when I did see my friends and I had no idea what most of the conversations were about. Plans were being made without me and group texts had differed to ones in which I was no longer included. As I was sitting at a dinner with them for the first time in a while and I wasn’t following any of the conversation, I began to feel that deep old emotion of jealousy rising up.

Now I would place bets that every single person reading this has experienced this feeling at one point or another. Some people feel it more often than others, and you know what? Thats ok!

The thing is, the friendships, careers and romantic partners we seek out as adults are not by chance. We are drawn to or repelled from personality types and people based on the dynamics we experienced in our childhood years. It is this intricately amazing life that our unconsciousness weaves for us so we can be presented with situations that can keep us “safe” in our patterns of old. Or, when you are ready to look at it like this, give us the opportunities to grow and heal any parts of ourselves that are not fulfilled.

Jealousy will surface in situations in which these old wounds are triggered. And lets be honest it actually makes you feel yuk. Inside and out. Its one of the lower vibrational emotions so it makes sense that it just brings you down. You and those around you. Its heavy.

So if you add to the heaviness with more self blame, shame, misdirected anger and projection you will inevitably only add to its weight.

The only way to lighten the load of a low vibrational energy is to show it the light. Shower in it. Be honest with yourself. If you feel it come up, be compassionate. Ultimately, it is a small child part of yourself expressing that they are feeling insecure. That they are not feeling enough. That they need to be loved. Not shamed and pushed down or away.

Find a safe place and EXPRESS IT. Let it out. In a healthy way. Not screaming or sulking. This will only make you feel worse again. In my situation I chose to express it directly to those involved and it has been a great experience for my growth journey. But you may chose a professional, a safe friend or family member or even just acknowledging it to yourself and show yourself some love.

It never ceases to amaze me how the intensity of these emotions lessens immediately once we allow ourselves the space to express it. Without judgment. Then show gratitude for what you do have and feed the things in your world that bring you joy.

Jealousy does not make you evil. It does not make you a monster. It doesn’t mean you are cursed. It doesn’t make you all darkness. It makes you a perfectly divine soul just living out your journey in this human experience. Just like the rest of us.

Go easy on yourself.

Love and light, Michelle xxx

Meditation For The Real World

Meditation. Commonly discussed. Becoming more commonly practiced. Many have tried it. But how many have stuck with it? How many of us in Western society find or make the time to make this a daily feature of our lives?

These days we are as a society becoming more aware of the benefits of such practices. In the go go go nature of our daily lives the need to “come home”  “check in” and “centre” ourselves has become increasingly understood, important and necessary.

We know this. But how may of us are actively doing it?

I know I have been guilty of this. I get new information. I immerse myself. I love it. I see the benefits. And then I drop off. I think, “I’m doing so well, I don’t need to do this as often or as diligently anymore”. I know I am not alone. It is human nature and I have seen it time and time again. We see the benefits, we think we are masters and all is fixed and good in our world again so we give ourselves permission to slack off. And I am not just talking about meditation. We do it with so many things that are good for us but take time and commitment to maintain.

How many of us have gym memberships we start out hounding and then before you know it, it drops off and then all of a sudden it is just another expense we pay for without needing to, but cancelling it would make us acknowledge the fact we are lying to ourselves and haven’t actually been inside the premises for many months. Health retreats are also big business these days. And they are wonderful educational amazing experiences don’t get me wrong. I have been blessed with going to some of the best in the Southern Hemisphere. And I always learn a heap, reconnect with myself, feel amazing and grow from the experience. But after a couple of weeks back home many of the new found lessons have fallen by the wayside as every day life again takes hold.

Change takes time and diligence. Not a weekend seminar. Not a week long retreat. Yes they are brilliant for the mind, body and soul and to reconnect with self but how many things to we keep for the long haul? After the initial false empowerment and perceived change how many of us actually make fundamental life long shifts?

I ask this often. As I slowly implement self love and growth into my daily life I am constantly seeking things that allow me to connect to that side of myself as well as being able to take part in my day to day activities and society as a whole.

It is all well to be zen in a zen place. Bringing it into your daily life is a whole other ball game. That is why I believe what I decided to do this weekend was a game changer.

Guys, I had an insanely eye opening experience this weekend that I think is going to really aid in changing the face of the often seemingly illusive goal of achieving majorly zen meditation sessions. The course – called CBM (Core Body Mind) Mediation was created and run by Jeremy O’Carroll founder of Om Reiki here in Melbourne, Australia.

Rather than me trying to deliver what it entails I will leave it to the expert. Heres a clip of his explanation of the concepts behind the theory and development and some of the methods he introduces.

As for my experience…

It delivered. I mean again I could be all wrapped up in the newness of it. But it really doesn’t feel like that. And I have been around the block a fair few times with short courses and workshops etc and I have jumped on a fair few bandwagons. But this is doable. Its practical. The benefits are obvious and immediate and you can easily slowly build the momentum incrementally without feeling like you are missing out on other things in your life you either want or need to do. You integrate this method into your day! That is the beauty of it. You are not sitting solo in a far away place away from everything and everyone you have ever known (which at times can feel like it would be heaven lol – but not practical for most).

Accessible, practical spirituality. That is totally a game changer in my opinion.

Hope it resonates with you and if you want any further information or details don’t hesitate to get in touch!

Love and light, Michelle xx

http://www.soulboundtm.com

 

But Where Does It Go?

I feel like it’s been ages now since I’ve written something light and easy breezy. I feel like I want to do that. For a multitude of reasons. But I don’t feel light and easy. As I sit down to write this, and I’ve left it all week because it’s been hectic and now it’s Sunday night and I’m flat. Again. Like seriously …. Again! Pull yourself out of it Michelle! I’m the only one who can, I know that, but this one is heavy and it’s taking a toll.

I spoke a few weeks ago of my first spiritual guide. He used to speak of the Three Rungs of the Ladder to the space of enlightenment. Now this is completely my perception of what he meant but the first rung is around awareness and a genuine connection to the feeling of creating inner peace. I do feel I have taken this on board in my soul. And beyond to a degree. But I also vividly remember him saying that we always feel our shit the hardest and deepest right before a big change. A little push or shove in the direction to greater consciousness. But this one feels like a massive truck full of hippos sitting on my physical body and all of my energy space around me. It feels HEAVY!

Now I’m not sure how others experience this. Please share if you would like it always helps to feel like you’re not alone or going crazy. But I really feel the different weights or imprints of different energies. And I am also starting to become acutely aware of visions during meditation and particularly whilst giving Reiki to myself and others. I’m not afraid as such but I know I’m going through a massive shift in consciousness and so in a way it’s scary. No I’m bullshitting. I’m freaking out to be real.

Not really for what’s to come. That’s ok. But for what is not coming with me. It’s almost like I have come to a point of no return right now and life as I know it is over. Please understand I know it will be ok but the FEELING that it’s going to be ok hasn’t caught up. My monkey mind is trying to pull me back to what I know. It’s grasping at people places and situations that don’t serve me.

This week I acted out. I tried to lie to myself I was ok about seeing someone I hadn’t seen in a couple of months. You know they popped up again and I told myself this time would be different. Of course I’ll go to dinner with you. But a couple of champagnes in and I honestly felt my brain snap. What the f**k are you doing Michelle!?, it screamed. You know how this ends. This is not a safe place to rest your weary soul. And honestly I was an almost instant mess. I actually had a movie moment and got up and walked out of the restaurant.

Now completely NOT his fault. He is honest that he’s not emotionally available. I am the one who is willing to butt my head against the same old brick wall over and over and over because I pull what I want to hear out of the conversation rather than what is being said. I’m not saying it’s my fault either, but why am I pursuing someone who will never let me in? I don’t have to be a superhero and work him out or break through his walls or show him how special I am and then hopefully maybe one day he’ll truly love me back and see my worth. IM TIRED! I honestly can’t be f**ked with it anymore. It hurts. I am hurting myself.

I am seeking in a partner what I always knew as my first male female dynamic. The relationship I had with my dad. And when I was a child he was completely emotionally unavailable. Not at all his fault. He did the best with what he knew. And he is a deep kind thoughtful and intelligent man. And our dynamic is changing. Dad and I are good. I have laid to rest my issues with feeling I didn’t get what I needed back when I was little. So its time for my adult self to catch up. To stop recreating these patterns for my future. All my partners have been either that way inclined or completely obsessive and possessive or combinations of both.

I want someone, yes. And all of the changes that are happening in my world feel like they would be just that little bit more awesome if I had someone to share them with. Love makes the good that much better and everything else seem small. But I don’t have that right now. Well not in a romantic sense. But if I step back from that, it’s so clear how I’m just scared of this next step. This next massive step up that ladder. But when I stop grasping so tightly and I let myself leap I know there is a pure moment awaiting me.

That beautiful moment when you allow a real change into your soul. It’s a moment of pure stillness. A moment in which you can truly appreciate the absolute nothing it brings. The space. The lightness. Where did that heavy energy go? That we hold onto so tightly. Where did it come from? Why did it mean so much to us? Yet now it has simply gone. Shifted. Moved on. Dissipated. Just writing this my focus changed and I felt the energy shift. It simply blows me away with pure gratitude and amazement every time. Where your focus goes, energy flows.

Regardless of whether you consider yourself spiritual or not I would think that has to raise some really interesting questions to ponder. Thoughts are merely suggestions. Emotions are just acting upon those suggestions and beliefs are made for perceived survival.

Yet real living comes when you just let it all go. So breathe Michelle and just say Fuck It!

Leave what is not working behind. Make space for the new. Allow myself to move in the direction that momentum is taking me anyway. Stop kicking and screaming and running back to the real place of hurt out of fear of the unknown. Because let’s be real, I wouldn’t be on this journey if the past worked out for me would I!

Ha! I just giggle snorted. And finally, I feel the light and easy breezy returning. What an amazing journey I am on.

Love and light, Michelle xx