5 Ways To Pull Yourself Out Of The Pressure Zone and Be More Productive

It’s that time of year isn’t it? All of the things you haven’t done are adding up and if where you live is anything like here in Melbourne, Australia – the deadlines appear to be looming as the city prepares itself to go into sleep mode over the Christmas/New Year period.

I did a live on my Facebook page around two weeks ago about this exact thing. (Check it out with the link below) How quick we are to pile up all the crap we haven’t done and didn’t achieve within the year but how slow we are to pull to the front of our mind all the things we have.

https://www.facebook.com/soulboundthemovement/

Classic female! Or people pleaser. Or over achiever.

Because really if we look at the feeling behind it; if we can just say we knocked all these things off our to do list and smashed all our goals – we would finally be worthy. We would finally be a success. We would finally be the epic human being that we always knew we could be.

Right!? Or would you just find more things to add to your list?

I too am guilty of this. A couple of weeks ago it was not looking pretty. Juggling two career roles, single parenting, kids social activities, planning a trip to the west, running my household and finances and still putting my hand up to weed the school garden sent me into overwhelm. However for me these times are becoming less and less and for shorter periods of time simply due to the work I have immersed myself in and the tools I choose to implement.

Meeting ourselves exactly where we are at can be one of the most challenging aspects of self love. Meeting our goals and living up to the expectations we put on ourselves is a relentless cycle of extreme ups and downs. That is is you forget to do any of the following:

  1. Write down all your achievements! Ok okay. So there are things you didn’t get to yet. Yet! This doesn’t mean you won’t. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time to tackle it. Maybe it isn’t meant for you. Maybe there are some things you still need to do or learn first before you tackle this. So shift your focus to just how epic you are. Start small even if it is just that you got up every day. You are here reading this seeking a better way. That voice inside you knows you deserve and this for you. And chances are as you start this list it will all start to flow and you’ll be in absolute awe of how awesome you truly are! Sit in this state and lap it up!
  2. Reach out! Speak to someone you trust. We were never designed to do this journey on our own. You having needs is not a burden and your partner friends and colleagues are not mind readers. (Well they may be -but just incase) Ask for what you need on a personal level. Be honest. If they don’t want to or can’t help that is on them to decide. If you don’t ask you don’t get. This goes for the universe too!
  3. Delegate and prioritise. I am a closet control freak at times. Not trusting others to do it for me the way I would do it for me. But you can not be all things to all people. If you don’t enjoy a task, delegate it to someone who will. Otherwise you will just spend all your time stressed, overwhelmed or procrastinating hoping that it will go away. This leads to a poor job or strain in all the other areas of your life. So let go and delegate. This gives you a way easier task of prioritising what is important to do. Where you should be spending your time and freeing you up to get your flow on and be the most productive version of you.
  4. Where is the pressure actually coming from? Acknowledge it. Is it really all these external factors or is it (and sorry but way more likely) internal. You need to own this. Were you verbally told you would be fired or not loved by your family if you didn’t get your to do list done? Probs not. Obviously at work there are things that need doing and targets that need to be hit but it is up to you to manage this. If it is too much speak to your senior. Explain how you are feeling and be proactive with how you could change it to suit you both. And if it’s not met with genuine concern of your wellbeing then be brave enough to admit that that may not be the right fit for you. At home same goes. Communicate your needs. Stand your ground. If you want someone to meet you halfway be an adult and lead the way.
  5. Give yourself some space to be creative. Whatever creativity means to you. Pop on a song and allow it to wash over you. Draw. Daydream. Write. Sing. Do a cryptic crossword. Juggle. Dance. Whatever it is, the point is that you just let yourself be for some time. Schedule it in. It is so important for your mental and emotional health. When you are in overwhelm you are functioning completely in fight or flight. Bring yourself back into yourself with the strong intention that play is equally as important as work and rest. If not more. You simply can not be physiologically operating at your optimum if you do not do this. So take a break and feel yourself. Then you can come back to it from a more relaxed and recharged state of being.

So there you have it. Five really simple and affective things you could do right NOW for yourself to shift yourself from pressure and overwhelm into a more relaxed and productive state of being.

And we know that is where our best work and self is at. Stop making it harder than it needs to be for yourself.

You got this!

Live in love and flow

Michelle xxx

Overcoming Life Sucking Fear

For most of us, fear rules our day to day lives. It is why we go to the jobs that we hate that don’t fulfil us. It is why we don’t tell our partners what we really want to say about what we need emotionally, spiritually, sexually, financially. It is why we continue the same old dynamics with our family members that leave us feeling frustrated and misunderstood. It is why we agree with our friends opinions out loud but not really in our guts, hearts and minds. It is why we attend things and do things that we actually don’t want to do. Or say things we don’t really believe. It is why most of us go into many day to day situations pretending to be anyone other than our true authentic selves.

Have you ever sat there and asked yourself why you do these things? Why you avoid the tricky conversations? Why you avoid standing up for yourself and imposing some healthy boundaries around your own personal needs and wants? Have you asked yourself if failure, rejection or change would actually kill you? Or why and when you decided that you didn’t matter enough to be heard, seen, loved and held exactly as you are? Or why you feel you are unworthy of living a life you actually passionatley desire to live?

So many of us struggle along in silence. Ticking the perceived needed boxes of what a majority of us call our lives. Relationship…Job…Social Status…Mortgage…Cars.. Counting down the days and minutes we get to clock off work. Leave the family to go see friends. Go on holidays. End the week. End the relationship. Find a relationship. Earn that money.

The “I’ll be happy when …” syndrome.

What if none of that stuff actually meant anything to you in your heart of hearts but you never actually took the time to ask yourself what it is that you do want and need in order to be truly fulfilled?

Susan Jeffers, author of international best seller, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway; gives the below list of examples of signs that can bring  our attention to what scenarios of our lives we are giving away our power and not taking responsibility of our own empowered option of choice.

Feelings of: anger, impatience, upset, joylessness, fatigue, blaming others, pain, attempting to control others, lack of focus, obsessiveness, self-pity, addictions, envy, judgmentalness, helplessness, disappointment, constant state of limbo, jealousy.

Are you feeling any of these in your daily existence? Be honest with yourself. It is actually exciting if you recognise it. Then you’re prime for growth and change. Well done you!!

I fucking jumped this year. Backed myself. I dove head first into an existence I didn’t even perceive to be possible until I started following my gut. Into my real passion and what drives me and what lights me up. The world of coaching, energy work and helping empower people to understand, heal and nourish themselves. And although I am growing exponentially as a practitioner and as a person I’d be lying if I didn’t say I still deal with fears on a daily basis. However I push through. Despite the ability for me to be even more rejected, have more chances to fail,  be judged, ridiculed and misunderstood more than I ever encountered inside the box that many know as comfortable, what allows me to say fuck the fear and do it anyway?

What do I think are some key elements to stepping into this type of courage as opposed to staying stuck in a life of paralysed fear and partial living.

  1. CLARITY: This does not mean a strict 5 year plan. Ha! I would run from that! I mean find something that lights you up! What does everyone always comment you are good at? Whats the activity or thing you do that helps you forget about all the bs in life? For me, I am clear on what I want and that is what I am going after. For me this clarity is in my chosen career. Life is a journey made up of many facets. Right now I am so clear on what brings me happiness and joy which is my chosen profession and personal growth journey and that is what I am focused on. Conversely in terms of relationships I am still unsure of exactly what I need and want so I have freed myself up to grow outside of that in something I am passionate about. Rather than doing what many of us do and hope that someone or something else outside of us will save us or fulfil us. The power is always within. Trust yourself.
  2. YOUR POSSE: Not always easy I know, but make a conscious effort to weed out the people that don’t make you feel good. If you are constantly dulling your shine or consciously changing your behaviour to fit in – this includes family and work – STEP BACK! I get sometimes stepping away completely is not an option but free yourself up from too much time in situations in which you can’t be your true self. This can be lonely at first I understand from personal experience. But then you get really into the space of being you and you’ll start vibing with and attracting the right crowd before you know it! Promise!
  3. VULNERABILITY: Huge. Massive. Ballsy. Freeing. Scary as FUCK. But oh so worth it. It relates to the above too. Once you allow yourself the space to be you and vibe with your people they will help bring your vulnerability out. Purely because you will feel safe and comfortable. This has been a HUGE one for me. Really letting people step forward. Help me. Save me. Be there for me. Allowing myself to be seen and heard and ask for help even though it is scary. But I took the time to learn who I am safe to do that with. And I have never felt more held, seen, raw, real and loved in my entire life.
  4. YOU TIME:  Check in time. Do the thing that calms you. Sit without distraction. Give yourself the space to differentiate between the voices in your head telling you bullshit and lies about you and allow the voice in your gut to deepen and get louder.  Be fearless in your own company. Allow yourself the time to sit with what you are feeling and work out where the voice of fear is coming from. As science has shown we are born with only two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds – you can bet your bottom dollar the voice telling you bullshit lies isn’t your own. Working out who’s it is gives you the capacity to realise that it isn’t yours and therefore you have the power to decide whether or not it is true for you. (FYI – its not, you’re more than enough) Trust yourself.
  5. MASSIVE IMPERFECT ACTION: All the gurus are using this phrase. Tony Robbins, Oprah,  Gary Vaynerchuk, Grace Lever. Just do something. Even a little thing. Research. Talk to people. Go to a workshop or class. Do a brainstorm or a vision board. Give yourself the opportunity to try. To test the waters. To feel what it feels like to go after what you want. And with every time you step into that space you get that little bit better at taking the leap of faith.

So for me… do I know how it is all going to work out? No. No I don’t. But I trust that it will. Even now when I sit in the fear I have never felt so sure of my path. I have never felt so alive and excited to wake up every day and put my heart and soul into everything I do. I have never before had this capacity to allow myself to be so open and seen and back myself all the way.

I have never believed in myself so much. And that is because I wasn’t being myself so how the fuck was I supposed to believe in that?

Now? Now I trust. And I truly want that for you.

Get in touch.

Love and light, Michelle xxx

http://www.soulboundtm.com