It’s that time of year isn’t it? All of the things you haven’t done are adding up and if where you live is anything like here in Melbourne, Australia – the deadlines appear to be looming as the city prepares itself to go into sleep mode over the Christmas/New Year period.
I did a live on my Facebook page around two weeks ago about this exact thing. (Check it out with the link below) How quick we are to pile up all the crap we haven’t done and didn’t achieve within the year but how slow we are to pull to the front of our mind all the things we have.
Classic female! Or people pleaser. Or over achiever.
Because really if we look at the feeling behind it; if we can just say we knocked all these things off our to do list and smashed all our goals – we would finally be worthy. We would finally be a success. We would finally be the epic human being that we always knew we could be.
Right!? Or would you just find more things to add to your list?
I too am guilty of this. A couple of weeks ago it was not looking pretty. Juggling two career roles, single parenting, kids social activities, planning a trip to the west, running my household and finances and still putting my hand up to weed the school garden sent me into overwhelm. However for me these times are becoming less and less and for shorter periods of time simply due to the work I have immersed myself in and the tools I choose to implement.
Meeting ourselves exactly where we are at can be one of the most challenging aspects of self love. Meeting our goals and living up to the expectations we put on ourselves is a relentless cycle of extreme ups and downs. That is is you forget to do any of the following:
- Write down all your achievements! Ok okay. So there are things you didn’t get to yet. Yet! This doesn’t mean you won’t. Maybe it just wasn’t the right time to tackle it. Maybe it isn’t meant for you. Maybe there are some things you still need to do or learn first before you tackle this. So shift your focus to just how epic you are. Start small even if it is just that you got up every day. You are here reading this seeking a better way. That voice inside you knows you deserve and this for you. And chances are as you start this list it will all start to flow and you’ll be in absolute awe of how awesome you truly are! Sit in this state and lap it up!
- Reach out! Speak to someone you trust. We were never designed to do this journey on our own. You having needs is not a burden and your partner friends and colleagues are not mind readers. (Well they may be -but just incase) Ask for what you need on a personal level. Be honest. If they don’t want to or can’t help that is on them to decide. If you don’t ask you don’t get. This goes for the universe too!
- Delegate and prioritise. I am a closet control freak at times. Not trusting others to do it for me the way I would do it for me. But you can not be all things to all people. If you don’t enjoy a task, delegate it to someone who will. Otherwise you will just spend all your time stressed, overwhelmed or procrastinating hoping that it will go away. This leads to a poor job or strain in all the other areas of your life. So let go and delegate. This gives you a way easier task of prioritising what is important to do. Where you should be spending your time and freeing you up to get your flow on and be the most productive version of you.
- Where is the pressure actually coming from? Acknowledge it. Is it really all these external factors or is it (and sorry but way more likely) internal. You need to own this. Were you verbally told you would be fired or not loved by your family if you didn’t get your to do list done? Probs not. Obviously at work there are things that need doing and targets that need to be hit but it is up to you to manage this. If it is too much speak to your senior. Explain how you are feeling and be proactive with how you could change it to suit you both. And if it’s not met with genuine concern of your wellbeing then be brave enough to admit that that may not be the right fit for you. At home same goes. Communicate your needs. Stand your ground. If you want someone to meet you halfway be an adult and lead the way.
- Give yourself some space to be creative. Whatever creativity means to you. Pop on a song and allow it to wash over you. Draw. Daydream. Write. Sing. Do a cryptic crossword. Juggle. Dance. Whatever it is, the point is that you just let yourself be for some time. Schedule it in. It is so important for your mental and emotional health. When you are in overwhelm you are functioning completely in fight or flight. Bring yourself back into yourself with the strong intention that play is equally as important as work and rest. If not more. You simply can not be physiologically operating at your optimum if you do not do this. So take a break and feel yourself. Then you can come back to it from a more relaxed and recharged state of being.
So there you have it. Five really simple and affective things you could do right NOW for yourself to shift yourself from pressure and overwhelm into a more relaxed and productive state of being.
And we know that is where our best work and self is at. Stop making it harder than it needs to be for yourself.
You got this!
Live in love and flow