Act As If

Hands up who has heard of the phrase “act as if”. Often cited in the words of manifesting guides and the “Law of Attraction” and other such methods of attracting abundance and creating the life you truly desire.

“Act as if” basically requires one to live, breathe and believe they are creating the life and future they truly want to experience.

So where is the line you ask,  between allowing yourself to go there and visualise this alternate future reality and just being downright delusional? Or is there even a line?

There is so much to be said for the way children go about “make believe”. They dive in with such curiosity and feeling that they go to that place in which the game they are immersed in, does for that moment in time, become their reality. Like those weeks in which my son would predominantly act as if he were a cat, purring and meowing at everything I said or did. Or those months in which my daughter would only go by the name “Rainbow Dash Sparkle Glitter Princess” To them that place they created for themselves was more enjoyable than their other reality options so they chose to stay in the one that brought them joy. This makes a crap load of sense to me. Kids are smart.

So although as adults it is necessary to have a firm grasp on the realities that provide us the basics like shelter, food, clothing and money – many of us are opening the peripheries  to this kind of mindset training. Awesome! BUT… how quickly we give up hope when that 1k, or that new car, or that dream boyfriend, we asked for doesn’t show up near on immediately.

We get disheartened so easily from the process. If we don’t get quick results how do we know it is even working. And then it just becomes another thing we are giving our time and energy to and getting seemingly nowhere.

But this is where the true gold lies. Ok so if were honest most of us go into manifesting with some material goal in mind. We want more money. Or a home. Or a new wardrobe. Or a holiday etc etc… Because when we get these things we will be happy right? Right? Hmmmmmmm…… will you? Only you can truly answer that.

The thing is though – if 2/3 of you is going into goal reaching and manifesting with the right intentions but there is still 1/3 of you that is voicing the opposite can you see how confusing the message can be? Even 1/8 of you not believing will slow the process down.

FRUSTURATING RIGHT! Ha! I know. And this is where I see it to be all backward. So many of these mindsets are marketed at the influx of material items. Now please don’t get me wrong. Financial freedom and material items are great! I love money, experiences nice clothes and holidays. And it is 1000000000% normal and ok to want for it. But what is the 1/3 or 1/8 of you that doesn’t believe you can truly live the life you want to actually saying. Why is it that you actually feel like you do not have that capacity within you to get all the things you want in life?

I bet its not saying “a holiday a year is a bit excessive don’t you think” or “enough money to pay you bills comfortably is selfish”  It all comes back to how we view ourselves in the world. Our self love and knowledge that we are indeed WORTHY! This is it. That simple. And it will reverberate into every aspect of your being.

So this is why the “act as if” phrase to me is a beautiful piece of wisdom. Unlock that inner child in you. The one that knows how to make believe and go into that space in which you are the superhero of your own existence. Or the cat or princess. Hey everyones dream is different;) Really access that space within you that is carefree and creative and play with the vision. Allow it to wash over you. FEEL it. Anchor it in to the cells in your body. Allow it to be your reality.

Then that feeling. That pulsing or warmth or lightness or buzzing or whatever it is that you feel in you; FOLLOW IT. Use that as your guide to make every decision in your life. Following the vibrational energy you want to become. Create the energetic vibration and then live it every day. It truly is this simple. But no-one ever said it was going to be easy.

Show up every day. Love yourself first. Bring out that inner child and celebrate all that you already have.

The rest will come… then before you know it, you’re no longer acting.

Love and light, Michelle xx

 

Overcoming Life Sucking Fear

For most of us, fear rules our day to day lives. It is why we go to the jobs that we hate that don’t fulfil us. It is why we don’t tell our partners what we really want to say about what we need emotionally, spiritually, sexually, financially. It is why we continue the same old dynamics with our family members that leave us feeling frustrated and misunderstood. It is why we agree with our friends opinions out loud but not really in our guts, hearts and minds. It is why we attend things and do things that we actually don’t want to do. Or say things we don’t really believe. It is why most of us go into many day to day situations pretending to be anyone other than our true authentic selves.

Have you ever sat there and asked yourself why you do these things? Why you avoid the tricky conversations? Why you avoid standing up for yourself and imposing some healthy boundaries around your own personal needs and wants? Have you asked yourself if failure, rejection or change would actually kill you? Or why and when you decided that you didn’t matter enough to be heard, seen, loved and held exactly as you are? Or why you feel you are unworthy of living a life you actually passionatley desire to live?

So many of us struggle along in silence. Ticking the perceived needed boxes of what a majority of us call our lives. Relationship…Job…Social Status…Mortgage…Cars.. Counting down the days and minutes we get to clock off work. Leave the family to go see friends. Go on holidays. End the week. End the relationship. Find a relationship. Earn that money.

The “I’ll be happy when …” syndrome.

What if none of that stuff actually meant anything to you in your heart of hearts but you never actually took the time to ask yourself what it is that you do want and need in order to be truly fulfilled?

Susan Jeffers, author of international best seller, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway; gives the below list of examples of signs that can bring  our attention to what scenarios of our lives we are giving away our power and not taking responsibility of our own empowered option of choice.

Feelings of: anger, impatience, upset, joylessness, fatigue, blaming others, pain, attempting to control others, lack of focus, obsessiveness, self-pity, addictions, envy, judgmentalness, helplessness, disappointment, constant state of limbo, jealousy.

Are you feeling any of these in your daily existence? Be honest with yourself. It is actually exciting if you recognise it. Then you’re prime for growth and change. Well done you!!

I fucking jumped this year. Backed myself. I dove head first into an existence I didn’t even perceive to be possible until I started following my gut. Into my real passion and what drives me and what lights me up. The world of coaching, energy work and helping empower people to understand, heal and nourish themselves. And although I am growing exponentially as a practitioner and as a person I’d be lying if I didn’t say I still deal with fears on a daily basis. However I push through. Despite the ability for me to be even more rejected, have more chances to fail,  be judged, ridiculed and misunderstood more than I ever encountered inside the box that many know as comfortable, what allows me to say fuck the fear and do it anyway?

What do I think are some key elements to stepping into this type of courage as opposed to staying stuck in a life of paralysed fear and partial living.

  1. CLARITY: This does not mean a strict 5 year plan. Ha! I would run from that! I mean find something that lights you up! What does everyone always comment you are good at? Whats the activity or thing you do that helps you forget about all the bs in life? For me, I am clear on what I want and that is what I am going after. For me this clarity is in my chosen career. Life is a journey made up of many facets. Right now I am so clear on what brings me happiness and joy which is my chosen profession and personal growth journey and that is what I am focused on. Conversely in terms of relationships I am still unsure of exactly what I need and want so I have freed myself up to grow outside of that in something I am passionate about. Rather than doing what many of us do and hope that someone or something else outside of us will save us or fulfil us. The power is always within. Trust yourself.
  2. YOUR POSSE: Not always easy I know, but make a conscious effort to weed out the people that don’t make you feel good. If you are constantly dulling your shine or consciously changing your behaviour to fit in – this includes family and work – STEP BACK! I get sometimes stepping away completely is not an option but free yourself up from too much time in situations in which you can’t be your true self. This can be lonely at first I understand from personal experience. But then you get really into the space of being you and you’ll start vibing with and attracting the right crowd before you know it! Promise!
  3. VULNERABILITY: Huge. Massive. Ballsy. Freeing. Scary as FUCK. But oh so worth it. It relates to the above too. Once you allow yourself the space to be you and vibe with your people they will help bring your vulnerability out. Purely because you will feel safe and comfortable. This has been a HUGE one for me. Really letting people step forward. Help me. Save me. Be there for me. Allowing myself to be seen and heard and ask for help even though it is scary. But I took the time to learn who I am safe to do that with. And I have never felt more held, seen, raw, real and loved in my entire life.
  4. YOU TIME:  Check in time. Do the thing that calms you. Sit without distraction. Give yourself the space to differentiate between the voices in your head telling you bullshit and lies about you and allow the voice in your gut to deepen and get louder.  Be fearless in your own company. Allow yourself the time to sit with what you are feeling and work out where the voice of fear is coming from. As science has shown we are born with only two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds – you can bet your bottom dollar the voice telling you bullshit lies isn’t your own. Working out who’s it is gives you the capacity to realise that it isn’t yours and therefore you have the power to decide whether or not it is true for you. (FYI – its not, you’re more than enough) Trust yourself.
  5. MASSIVE IMPERFECT ACTION: All the gurus are using this phrase. Tony Robbins, Oprah,  Gary Vaynerchuk, Grace Lever. Just do something. Even a little thing. Research. Talk to people. Go to a workshop or class. Do a brainstorm or a vision board. Give yourself the opportunity to try. To test the waters. To feel what it feels like to go after what you want. And with every time you step into that space you get that little bit better at taking the leap of faith.

So for me… do I know how it is all going to work out? No. No I don’t. But I trust that it will. Even now when I sit in the fear I have never felt so sure of my path. I have never felt so alive and excited to wake up every day and put my heart and soul into everything I do. I have never before had this capacity to allow myself to be so open and seen and back myself all the way.

I have never believed in myself so much. And that is because I wasn’t being myself so how the fuck was I supposed to believe in that?

Now? Now I trust. And I truly want that for you.

Get in touch.

Love and light, Michelle xxx

http://www.soulboundtm.com

 

Energy LOVES Laughter

We all know the saying laughter is the best medicine. And we’ve all experienced the cathartic effects a really good belly chuckle can bring with it. So why when it comes to the world of health, fitness, wellbeing and energy work – all things that are also great for the soul – do we take it so seriously?

I love yoga. LOVE it! But how many would agree, you go to a class and everyone is tight lipped, often rarely breathing and taking every pose so damn seriously. I have definitely been to classes where I have received many a glare through out. And honestly… I don’t care.

Now I am not talking in the end at Shavasana. Although I can also bet we’ve all been to a class were someone farts or gets the giggles in this stage too. But I mean throughout the class. I giggle at myself when I wobble. I giggle at myself when I think of something funny. I giggle at myself when I notice I am taking it all too seriously. Many of the most amazing teachers will tell you; breathe into your pose. Then they will also encourage you to smile. Not just for a laugh (pun intended 😉 Smiling and laughter releases oxytocin into the bloodstream that allows us to release tension and stress thereby allowing you to move deeper into your pose and feel better all round as a result.

Laughter and smiling have so many benefits and the list on Bron Roberts website Let’s Laugh, wellbeing programs all developed around laughter, is impressive. From anti-aging, to immune boosting; from aiding in treatment or heart disease and diabetes to building bonds and resilience, the clinically proven statistics are astounding.

http://www.letslaugh.com.au/content/benefits/laughter

So as society slowly begins to embrace the energy world as more common place, how can laughter help us to connect? Well, in much the same way as it helps us to move deeper into our yoga poses.

The energy body, our aura, our soul or whatever you chose to call it, is forever fluctuating. In a majority of us it is dependant on our outside influences such as our environment, the people and places we have chosen to be around, the society and culture we live in, the air we breathe, and the food and beverages we ingest. EVERY SINGLE THING exists as energy. It is the frequency at which the particles vibrate that determines how we humans view it in our reality. Solid dense matter, such as the device you are reading this on now, is simply vibrating at a lower frequency.

This concept is no different for a thought. For an emotion. For a belief. For a perception or lens that we chose to look at the world through. So we are connected to energy all the time because we are energy all the time.

But what if changing the draining energy of a low vibe emotion was as easy as cracking a smile. Well great news…IT IS!

Part of connecting to the energy that is running through us, around us, that is us, is first to acknowledge it. With no shame or judgment. What you think and feel up until you are aware that thought or feeling doesn’t work for you doesn’t count. There is no reason to beat yourself up for what was if you are making the courageous choice to learn and grow.

Then name it. What is the thought? What is the emotion? Expressing it, even quietly to yourself can bring clarity and understanding so you can isolate the energetic imprint without those old sayings like “I am just broken” or “I am messed up” or “Nothing ever goes my way” etc etc. When we feel a bit shit we tend to be great at catastrophising our whole existence.

Then really connect to it. Close your eyes. Feel where it is in your body. Notice the heaviness, denseness or weight it appears to be placing on that part of your body.

Now that you in your entirety is giving it attention, send it love. Allow yourself to see what it is without attaching to it. Chances are in this moment you are in no real danger. Remind yourself of that. You are safe and loved. Then allow the smile to take over your face.

Allow it to grow. Allow it to develop. Allow it to burst into a giggle if it is ready to. Allow yourself to use this natural state of laughter – as natural to us as breathing – to ease the density of the energy you feel. Allow it to open you up so you can release the energy back into the world around you.

Honestly, this can be challenging. But in terms of a technique to pull out to quickly refocus your energy, it is GOLD. And effective. I have personally found as I force myself to smile, I feel silly and then its easy to break into laughter.

JOB DONE!

Then as you feel the density of the energy disperse you can be really attentive and mindful to that energy leaving your body.

And what an amazing process it is. The power is always with us. If we choose to use it.

Just smile,

Love and light, Michelle xxx

 

 

Total Acceptance (3) – Victim

Ok so victim is more of an archetype or part of the personality than an emotion, but it is one we are well versed at acting out.

As a society we are pretty quick to pass the buck, blame and divert and deflect from our own bullshit. We are pretty good at acting like life just happens to us and we have no control over the outcome. In the corporate world, in our personal lives, in how we treat the planet, in how we treat ourselves.

As I started to learn about the “victim” element that resides in ALL of us, I initially rejected it. That actually makes me lol. Because that exact rejection was me acting out the victim traits.

But I kept telling myself “I am allowed to be a victim” “I am a victim”. I have been sexually abused, emotionally abused, physically abused. I am allowed to act out the victim. To make me feel better about all the shit that has gone down, I need those around me to feel sorry for me and make it all better. But I continuously learnt the hard way. If you put all that power in others hands, you are in for a big fall my friends.

Stepping into personal development, growth and enlightenment takes courage. To truly look at your stuff and take ownership of your emotions, actions, thoughts, beliefs and perceptions is as brave as it gets. So no wonder stepping into this space triggers our inner victim left right and centre.

If we look at the victim they are often perceived as powerless, weak, scared, all blaming, possibly even deserving of the bad that has happened to them. But as with everything in this universe; you can not give rise to these elements without the equal and opposite elements residing within in you. Every single thing you see within you both “good” and “bad” has, in the right circumstances, the ability to be expressed and acted out. Really think about that. Polarity is in everything. Duality. So therefore in the empowered version of the victim qualities are powerful, strong, courageous, ownership of self and awareness of life lessons and universal patterns.

So how do you get perspective and see where you are acting out in the disempowered or shadow aspect of victim?

  1. Expression: Watch how you are talking. Both internally and externally. Even in humour. The subconscious mind has no sense of humour. Here in Australia in particular it is common practice to joke about our perceived bad qualities, traits and misfortunes and thats ok too, but just check in occasionally and see how saying those things to yourself actually sits with how you want to feel in and about yourself.  An example of this is I would say if I made a mistake “Lucky I am cute” meaning I am not smart. But as I have become aware of my over expressed victim,, I feel an internal reaction in my body when I say this, yelling “HEY! Im very smart thank you!”
  2. Language: building on the last point watch the words you use. Common phrases “I can’t do that”, “I should do that”, “I am trying”, “I had to”, “they, he, she, made me feel…”. These are all statement that immediately give our power away. Rephrase this simply by just owing it. “I can’t” could be more that you actually haven’t tried, or you attempted it but feel you could do better next time, or you actually really don’t want to. Thats ok. But say it for what it is. “I should” – well says who? Do you want to for you? “I am trying” – this is an interesting one. It is good to have a go and try things but when you use this term as a means of justifying why you are in a place you are not comfortable, you’re actually not empowering yourself. Just say “I am taking this, this and this step to get to where I want to be”. “I had to” – simple. No you didn’t. We always have the power of choice. “They, he, she, made me feel…” no one can make you feel anything. You chose what emotions you allow yourself to attach to.
  3. Actions: simple bodily responses will enable the victim. So stand with your back straight. Head up. Eye contact where appropriate. Take up your space in the room. Don’t shrink to make others feel comfortable. Just allow yourself to be as equally as important as everyone else on this planet. You are!

See the thing that got me about this stuff, was it actually made me angry. But they did this this and this and that is wrong! Well the flip side of that is who the fuck am I to decide what is wrong. It was wrong by me, but essential for both my and their journey. Therefore my power is in getting to now chose to no longer be around those people, places, situations or take on those emotions that don’t serve me.

You have this power within you too. I promise. Allow yourself to shine.

The world needs your glow. And always remember the over expressed victim has a right too. Don’t shame it. But empower it to be free so you can live in self power, love and peace.

Love and light, Michelle xxx

 

 

 

Total Acceptance (2) – Guilt

There are many profound quotes around the emotion of guilt.

  • Guilt is to the spirit, what pain is to the body ~ Elder David A. Bednar
  • Guilt is anger directed at ourselves for what we did or did not do ~ Peter McWilliams
  • Guilt is perhaps the most painful companion of death ~ Coco Chanel
  • Guilt is always hungry; don’t let it consume you ~ Terri Guillemets

Then there is the dictionary definition:

  • a feeling of responsibility or remorse for some offence, crime, wrong, etc., whether real or imagined.

To me, whilst they are all valid, they don’t give huge scope to identifying and shifting the feeling within.

Guilt for me has featured in many parts of my life, but none compare to the guilt we can put on ourselves as parents. When I decided to follow my heart and part ways with the father of my kids the guilt that followed was immense. Basically I wondered if I had  completely screwed up these perfect little humans for life with my “selfish” choices.

But guilt comes in many forms and it doesn’t need to be a big scenario such as mine in order to trigger it. Guilt is either when you yourself feel you haven’t lived up to your own values and morals OR; that of someone you have allowed to have power over how you see yourself.

How many of us feel guilty for eating dessert? For flirting with that person at work? For drinking too much on a night out? For not making it to the kids assembly because you had to work? For accidentally sharing information about someone you weren’t supposed to? For saying not so nice things about others? For not helping those who have looked out for you? For living in a nice house when your friends and family may not? And so on and so on…

And that is just what we do to ourselves. What about the dynamics in which we allow others to project their ideals onto us and if we don’t live up to them we feel guilty for “letting them down” or “not making them proud” or whatever else they try and pull over you and you allow yourself to take on.

I know I have had to check myself as a mum when I have pulled the whole “You will do as I say – I went through 28 hours of labour for you!” bullshit. Or as a partner the more subtle “even though I have slaved away all day cooking and cleaning and looking after the kids – sure go out with your mates”. All along hoping the passive aggressive guilt trip will do the trick and he would indeed stay home and help. Not surprisingly, it never worked.

Although these types of dynamics can be tricky to navigate as always, the most powerful thing we can ever do to neutralise such a ‘dis-ease’ as guilt is to look to our own internal environment.

Our internal environment is all about layers. The lens or perception that we look at situations in our environment colours everything we do. Whether you are aware or not. If you are operating in fear you will consistently behave in reactive ways to stimuli instead of being thought out and responsive. Many of us know this, but boy-oh-boy when a strong low vibrational energy comes in such as guilt, how many of us sit in that energy. Think about it. Entertain it. Dissect it. Imagine different scenarios around it. And blame, shame and bash ourselves up for not doing better in the first place.

But that is ok. Because this space is the exact place of power. When you are guilting yourself for something; anything – start small – maybe having two pieces of cake at the birthday party, or forgetting to ask your friend how the first day at their new job was – STOP. And tell yourself this new truth.

Guilt is beneficial. That is right! It is not BAD. It is necessary. It is there to show you that the situation involved does not align to who you are. The purest form of you. Your soul. It is purely a little life lesson that instead of feeding with self- shaming behaviours and begging for forgiveness; you just simply need to acknowledge, show some compassion and take steps to alter the outcome in future similar situations.

Acknowledging your emotion of guilt for what it is, is beyond powerful. I have done a lot of work around this with my separation and subsequent unsuccessful romantic relationships. Yes I made mistakes but I am learning. We never stop learning and growing. And mostly I have learned to see guilt as an integral part of my own internal compass that is guiding me to lead the life I truly desire to live.

In every possible way.

Love and light, Michelle xxx

http://www.soulboundtm.com

Total Acceptance (1) – Jealousy

One of the toughest parts of learning to love ourselves in our entirety, is the complexity of self shaming. When we look outside of ourselves for validation or acknowledgment. When we look to society and our environment to dictate and mould how our lives should look. If we ourselves do not feel we measure up to these perceived ideals of our external environment, we tell ourselves there is something wrong with us. We tell ourselves we are not enough.

We all walk our own path. Have our own unique dynamics, experiences and lessons that help guide the lens in which we look at this world. In order to shift our perception from struggle, pain, fear and ego to light and love for all that is, we know that the first step to change is acknowledgement. This is well documented. Personal growth starts with owning your shit and the willingness to take action to change it.

However, often once we start to truly look into all parts of ourselves and what makes us tick we undoubtedly uncover deep parts within us that we don’t really like or want to own. These thoughts, beliefs, actions and emotions are equally a part of us as the cool, fun, shiny stuff we appreciate about ourselves; and behind the dark exterior, its power to propel us to the life we truly want is palpable.

So this week lets look into the emotion of JEALOUSY. This is a widely shamed emotion to express. Often called the root of all evil, a disease, a monster, a curse only experienced by those who have no self esteem. If you express jealousy, you are automatically seen as weak. It is almost a taboo emotion and one that triggers a huge amount of self shaming behaviours.

Unfortunately, the intensity is increased due to the double nature of the emotion in which we not only feel bad in ourselves for feeling that way but we are also harbouring negativity toward the person or situation we are in fact jealous of. Clearly, this results in one big cycle of negative energy and suppression.

As is my intention behind all that I do, I like to express something real. Something for you, the reader to connect to. To understand that I am speaking both from a place of knowledge and understanding. Something authentic and relatable. This week jealousy reared its intriguing head into my consciousness and I have had an interesting experience unpacking it.

This time it was amongst friends. Being the only single mum in the group and busy juggling all the things that I am choosing to do in this stage of my life, my social life has taken a bit of a back seat. And although I have chosen this, it did not help me rationalise why I was feeling left out and jealous when I did see my friends and I had no idea what most of the conversations were about. Plans were being made without me and group texts had differed to ones in which I was no longer included. As I was sitting at a dinner with them for the first time in a while and I wasn’t following any of the conversation, I began to feel that deep old emotion of jealousy rising up.

Now I would place bets that every single person reading this has experienced this feeling at one point or another. Some people feel it more often than others, and you know what? Thats ok!

The thing is, the friendships, careers and romantic partners we seek out as adults are not by chance. We are drawn to or repelled from personality types and people based on the dynamics we experienced in our childhood years. It is this intricately amazing life that our unconsciousness weaves for us so we can be presented with situations that can keep us “safe” in our patterns of old. Or, when you are ready to look at it like this, give us the opportunities to grow and heal any parts of ourselves that are not fulfilled.

Jealousy will surface in situations in which these old wounds are triggered. And lets be honest it actually makes you feel yuk. Inside and out. Its one of the lower vibrational emotions so it makes sense that it just brings you down. You and those around you. Its heavy.

So if you add to the heaviness with more self blame, shame, misdirected anger and projection you will inevitably only add to its weight.

The only way to lighten the load of a low vibrational energy is to show it the light. Shower in it. Be honest with yourself. If you feel it come up, be compassionate. Ultimately, it is a small child part of yourself expressing that they are feeling insecure. That they are not feeling enough. That they need to be loved. Not shamed and pushed down or away.

Find a safe place and EXPRESS IT. Let it out. In a healthy way. Not screaming or sulking. This will only make you feel worse again. In my situation I chose to express it directly to those involved and it has been a great experience for my growth journey. But you may chose a professional, a safe friend or family member or even just acknowledging it to yourself and show yourself some love.

It never ceases to amaze me how the intensity of these emotions lessens immediately once we allow ourselves the space to express it. Without judgment. Then show gratitude for what you do have and feed the things in your world that bring you joy.

Jealousy does not make you evil. It does not make you a monster. It doesn’t mean you are cursed. It doesn’t make you all darkness. It makes you a perfectly divine soul just living out your journey in this human experience. Just like the rest of us.

Go easy on yourself.

Love and light, Michelle xxx

Triggering Strengths

If you look into many of the careers of the most compassionate, effective, highly regarded psychologists, psychiatrists, counsellors, life coaches and social workers they are often so tuned into their niche, as they have experienced some or many of the aspects in which they facilitate. They understand the process from both sides of the fence. They have figured out the genuine link between the phenomenon that our greatest strengths can also trigger our greatest emotional responses.

As I seek and relinquish to be of service in this profession and soul purpose, I am the first to realise that my area of both strength and massive learning and growth opportunities, is connection.

I have spoken on multiple occasions about this through this blog and on my social media.  Connection. The reason behind all that I am doing. Connection to self. Connection in love. Connection in family. Connection in friendships. Connection to professions. Connection to the community. The arts. Humanity. Mother nature. The Universe.

And as the universe is so kind and loving and wants me to learn and grow, this week has been a series of events around this very topic in multiple facets of my life. Friends, family and career have all featured in this weeks soul lessons.

I uncomfortably voiced to my friends some of the personal stuff thats been going on for me. Vulnerability, although I am so aware of it’s power, is still not always comfortable and I started by pushing them away. They, as the keepers do, came back in full force and surrounded me with love. I am blessed. A lesson that connection is safe.

Career was an interesting one. I attended a talk by some local inspiring entrepreneurs that I admire both the business model and the philosophies and culture behind all that they do. Throughout they kept weaving in the importance of connection with those that inspire you and can help you both personally and professionally to grow. I was on the edge of my seat really involved in all that was being said; until the end of the talk arrived and we were invited to come and say hello. I completely shifted gears. Anxiety took over and I rushed for the exit. I kicked myself the whole way home. What a wasted opportunity for connection and networking with people who have been where I am and have gotten to where I want to be.

So, I snapped out of it. I couldn’t undo what had happened but I could still influence what is to come with my actions right then and there. So I stalked them online, got emails and sent them a open honest email about all I just wrote. How inspired I was by them. How much I got from the talk and how I let my fear get the better of me in that moment. I still felt a bit bummed as I took myself off to bed. But when I left work the next day I was floored.

Not only did they respond, they checked out my blog, my website and were full of praise and encouragement. Along with the offer for guidance whenever I need it and that next time I can pass on even a hand shake and go straight for a hug!

OMG I knew they were my kind of people! Beautiful souls, willing to share, nourish, guide and encourage others to live their full potential. Keepers. Another strong example that connection is safe.

The final and by far and away the most soul cleansing of the week, my father. A strong hard working man from the old school generation in which although we are loved immensely, he held his cards close to his chest. When he was not working the farm, which was rare, he was not one to display affection. I have played this dynamic over and over in my life with other males. No ones fault. Just our journey. But today he rang me. I was out with the kids so asked him to call me back. Then my anxiety peaked. Why was he calling? Was something wrong? Is he sick? Even I was shocked at the intensity of the stress I was putting myself through. I was expecting the worst.

So when he rang back all of 45 of the longest minutes later, I was ready to shut down. He seemingly picked up on my demeanour and proceeded to do all the talking! This is generally my domain. But he had my back. He eased me in and we ended up connecting for a good 36 minute chat! I can not express how huge this is. How cathartic and cleansing for me. And for him. That I believe.

I can see that as I work through these things within myself, those around me have either stepped up to show me strength and support or have eased and softened towards me. The stayers in my world are moulding with me. Those that were meant to come and go have done so or will do so. I am happy. I am safe. And I am always connected.

It is this that I look forward to growing into even further and sharing with every soul I am blessed enough to come across in my experience. I truly feel, think, know and believe that my journey, my lessons, my experience and now studies and skill set will allow me to be of such great service to so many of us that feel a lack of connection and are ready to feel again.

In this world, we are increasingly disconnected. Busy is glorified. Most of our daily interactions are through a screen. Many of us coast through assuming that that lack or  wanting for something else is just a normal part of existing. But I am here to tell you it is not. I doesn’t have to feel that way.

Connection is safe. And it is the basis of all strength, love, joy and passion in this wondrous experience we are blessed to call life.

Live it.

Love and light, Michelle xxx

 

Re-Framing Change

Change is inevitable. There is no moment just like the one that is happening right now. You will never be the same age as you are right this second. Life is constantly evolving. This we know. So why do we so often resist change as if it is our enemy?

I heard an interesting summary about energy and change lately that really stuck with me. I was listening to a blockage clearing workshop by Christie Marie Sheldon and as with a lot she says, it is the way she says it that seems to just get through to me.

We (humans) are just a mass of energy; vibrating molecules constantly in a state of change…So when we get stuck, when we resist change – just IMAGINE how much energy that takes to try and fight against the natural state. The natural state of constant change.

Yet here we are, fixed in our minds, fixed in our beliefs, fixed in our actions and fixed in our day to day routines and programming that we are conditioned to believe is the only way to live our lives. Many of us are now awakened to the notion that we are not fulfilled in the lives we are leading. But most of us want a quick fix and seek these short term solutions or bold promises of inner peace, a life of abundance and change in “x” amount of time. And then when they don’t work – FAST – we give up hope and go back to the old way. The conditioned way. But what if we re-framed the way we look at the concept of change. What if we appreciated that we are in fact innately wired to go with the flow. That it is purely environmental conditioning that has lead us to consider otherwise.

This road to finding self is by far and away the most important thing a soul (human) can do in order to make a true difference in this world. In saying that; it can be confusing. It can be overwhelming. It can be frustrating. It can be uninviting. It can be full of bullshit and assholes. It can be misguided. It can be very far from the nurturing, open, accepting, growing, peaceful journey it is made out to be.

Then throw in our own inner shit on top and no wonder many of us run back to retreat in what was.

Change can be big. Change can seem scary. But this is how I am re-framing the concept of change in order to show people they are kicking goals on a daily basis. Even if you don’t feel like it.

INTENTION. DIRECTION. BELIEF. ACTION. Whilst all parts reflect upon each other, this is how I have documented the process occurring. With each step giving you a great step to both reflect on and launch from.

You see as soon as you set an INTENTION to change, as soon as life pushes you to the point where you no longer want to deal with things the way that they are; all the nuggets of gold you need to walk through to get from where you are to where you want to be will become apparent. An intent to change is in fact change. As it is a different way of thinking for you. Acknowledge that. Celebrate that.

This INTENTION will immediately put you into a DIRECTION as you seek to find the right pathway for you. Although this can seem overwhelming at times as you sift through the copies amounts of information available to us in this day and age, when the intent is strong enough and further change is what is best for you at this given moment at some point something will jump out at you. It will resonate. Even if it is for the short term. Celebrate it. Being open minded for new information is change!

When we find a DIRECTION in an area we are seeking solutions and answers and comfort in and it resonates with us on a deep and meaningful level, we begin to allow ourselves to open up to all the possibilities this new way of living can bring. Thus we allow our BELIEF structures to be more flexible in order to align with this new found direction. Getting to the core of beliefs can be a life time of work as they often have many layers, but this doesn’t mean don’t celebrate the opening and flexibility and breaking down of these beliefs that no longer serve our soul.

The inspiration we allow ourselves to feel if we embrace the previous elements, will without question lead to further ACTION. As we seek to learn, feel, experience and grow more into this new awareness and knowing. All the while facilitating all these elements of change.

The key here, is to celebrate every element. It doesn’t have to be that you have to get to exactly where you want to be immediately. Celebrate the journey along the way. And don’t let the little hiccups or apparent lack of big victories to dishearten you and keep you stuck in what was.

Because change is a constant. So save yourself a lot of time, energy and drama and just go with the flow. Your flow.

I’ll be here to facilitate you all the way http://www.soulboundtm.com

Love and light, Michelle

 

Heart Chakra; SoulBound; Blog Post; Self Awareness

A Broken Heart Is An Open Heart

As we grow and become more self aware, the lessons we are here to learn seem to get somewhat easier. As you come into your truth, the synchronicities align and you flow at one with life.

In saying this, life is life and a blow to my heart this week had me physically hunched over and grabbing at my heart space as if I needed to support its weight.

I am an empath. I feel. It’s what I do. And I don’t do it in halves either. Everything is magnified in the most beautifully emotional of ways and I have learned to hold this part of me in high regard. In a world of people trying to zone out of their truth with deflection and numbing I am way more inclined to go in and figure out why it is being experienced the way it is. Hence my path of energy work and mind body soul coaching.
So when I received the validation I was still loved by the guy I wanted to hear it from I was outwardly trying to be cool. I mean I know the roller coaster we have joined each other on. But inside I was clutching. Will this time be different? Will he really hold true to my interpretation of the true meaning of these words and hold the space that comes along with it? Has he finally seen that I am an important part of his life and he is willing to risk his fears and put himself in the arena? Was he finally ready to be truly vulnerable?
So I laid in hope. Waiting with baited breath for the next conversation. And in less than a 24 turn- around he had again expressed that he was not ready to be in that with me. And you know what? It’s ok. I already knew deep down that that was the outcome and that this was how it was going to play out.
But that knowledge doesn’t stop the pain of a broken heart does it? It doesn’t stop you wanted to curl up stay in bed and replay all the things that maybe could’ve changed the outcome. This time however, I can see what needs to be different.
As well as the usual, needing to give myself more love,  acknowledge I am seeking outside validation and all the growth and awareness I have acquired around these “I am not enough” trigger points, this time I decided to do this different. This time I was going to really process it. Like fully. How many fucking times have I lived this cycle in my days and I have never been rewarded with the outcome I so strongly desire. To be loved and shown love by the man of my choosing without any conditions.
So time to heed my own advice: If you always do what you always did; then you’ll always get what you always got.
What is the first thing we often experience in times of pain? Like when something emotionally rocks us? We feel it in our body don’t we. You physically react. Face in hands. Hand to heart. Aching stomach. Headaches. Tiredness. Numbness. Out of body experiences. Shoulder tension. Any massive number of ailments. Physical markers that your energy, emotional and spiritual bodies are struggling to integrate the energy playing out within and around you.
And as these stage scenes are more often than not just replays of the same energy patterns just with different co-stars and sets, we take it on as further evidence to support our beliefs that life is exactly how we perceive it to be.
It is the cold, unloving, unfair, uncertain, unsafe environment we have designed it to be. And in that we are living as reactive egos that have disempowered ourselves to the act of choice. We ALWAYS have the power of choice.
So when he muttered the time old words down the phone that things had indeed not changed, I physically recoiled and once again I wanted to myself shut down. I felt myself deciding that this just further proved I was simply never enough for someone. That I was not loved unconditionally and that no one will love me just for being me.
But for me this time I could clearly see I had a choice to make. Sounds easy right. Until you’re in it. However this time, I was responsive. I have chosen to keep my heart open. I acknowledged him and his feelings. It is his journey after all. I acknowledged that we are indeed wanting two completely different experiences when it comes to love. I acknowledged that I am not what he needs in his experience any longer as much as he is no longer what I need. We learnt our lessons. It is time to let go. But this holds no bearing at all to either of our worth. I, and he, will be more than enough for the right person. And I am more than enough in myself.
So challenge. Next time you feel yourself physically respond to an emotional situation; or next time something emotional comes up – stop, shut your eyes and scan through your body. What exactly are you feeling and where exactly are you feeling it? The answer to this tells me a lot about where the belief sits in you and where it was acquired.
So I laid there. I felt it in my stomach (childhood belief – self worth), I felt it in my heart (yearning, repeated learnings, self love needs to be activated), then I gave myself Reiki to ensure my energy was flowing. Then I did a guided mediation around opening the heart chakra and allowing myself to both give and receive love. Then I anchored it into my body with a beautiful song that I know the day I get married will be in our ceremony playlist.
This doesn’t necessarily have to be the actions you take, this works for me. But the point is to remain open. Breathe life into that space. Fill it with the energy of life. The breath. Self love. Faith that everything is happening exactly the way it needs to be just for you. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.
The shift isn’t necessarily around it not hurting any more. We are human. You should be concerned if you don’t feel your emotions. The shift is around me realising that it is not me that is not enough. It is the situation that is not enough for me.
Keep your heart open. Have faith. You are always enough. You always have been and you always will be. All you have to do is allow the energy to flow.
Give and receive in balance.
Love and light,
Michelle xxx

Meditation For The Real World

Meditation. Commonly discussed. Becoming more commonly practiced. Many have tried it. But how many have stuck with it? How many of us in Western society find or make the time to make this a daily feature of our lives?

These days we are as a society becoming more aware of the benefits of such practices. In the go go go nature of our daily lives the need to “come home”  “check in” and “centre” ourselves has become increasingly understood, important and necessary.

We know this. But how may of us are actively doing it?

I know I have been guilty of this. I get new information. I immerse myself. I love it. I see the benefits. And then I drop off. I think, “I’m doing so well, I don’t need to do this as often or as diligently anymore”. I know I am not alone. It is human nature and I have seen it time and time again. We see the benefits, we think we are masters and all is fixed and good in our world again so we give ourselves permission to slack off. And I am not just talking about meditation. We do it with so many things that are good for us but take time and commitment to maintain.

How many of us have gym memberships we start out hounding and then before you know it, it drops off and then all of a sudden it is just another expense we pay for without needing to, but cancelling it would make us acknowledge the fact we are lying to ourselves and haven’t actually been inside the premises for many months. Health retreats are also big business these days. And they are wonderful educational amazing experiences don’t get me wrong. I have been blessed with going to some of the best in the Southern Hemisphere. And I always learn a heap, reconnect with myself, feel amazing and grow from the experience. But after a couple of weeks back home many of the new found lessons have fallen by the wayside as every day life again takes hold.

Change takes time and diligence. Not a weekend seminar. Not a week long retreat. Yes they are brilliant for the mind, body and soul and to reconnect with self but how many things to we keep for the long haul? After the initial false empowerment and perceived change how many of us actually make fundamental life long shifts?

I ask this often. As I slowly implement self love and growth into my daily life I am constantly seeking things that allow me to connect to that side of myself as well as being able to take part in my day to day activities and society as a whole.

It is all well to be zen in a zen place. Bringing it into your daily life is a whole other ball game. That is why I believe what I decided to do this weekend was a game changer.

Guys, I had an insanely eye opening experience this weekend that I think is going to really aid in changing the face of the often seemingly illusive goal of achieving majorly zen meditation sessions. The course – called CBM (Core Body Mind) Mediation was created and run by Jeremy O’Carroll founder of Om Reiki here in Melbourne, Australia.

Rather than me trying to deliver what it entails I will leave it to the expert. Heres a clip of his explanation of the concepts behind the theory and development and some of the methods he introduces.

As for my experience…

It delivered. I mean again I could be all wrapped up in the newness of it. But it really doesn’t feel like that. And I have been around the block a fair few times with short courses and workshops etc and I have jumped on a fair few bandwagons. But this is doable. Its practical. The benefits are obvious and immediate and you can easily slowly build the momentum incrementally without feeling like you are missing out on other things in your life you either want or need to do. You integrate this method into your day! That is the beauty of it. You are not sitting solo in a far away place away from everything and everyone you have ever known (which at times can feel like it would be heaven lol – but not practical for most).

Accessible, practical spirituality. That is totally a game changer in my opinion.

Hope it resonates with you and if you want any further information or details don’t hesitate to get in touch!

Love and light, Michelle xx

http://www.soulboundtm.com