The Fear Rationale

Fear. Procrastination inducer. Self saboteur ring leader. Keeper to the gates around ones heart. Anxiety generator. Instigator of blame. Projection master.

Yet at key times; our closest ally.

It is said we are only born with two types of fears. Fear of falling and fear of loud noises. If I am to break this down for you; have you ever felt you’ve been teetering on the brink of REM sleep and suddenly either with or without you remembering what triggers it you are suddenly jolted awake? It felt like you fell. Maybe you remember what was happening in your dream, maybe you don’t. But your unconscious is telling you it felt like you fell; OR have you ever jumped out of your skin at a loud noise? Even if you see all the events that lead up to the noise being created or you have experienced that noise before on multiple occasions yet it still startles you.

I always found these experiences so intriguing. After the initial shock of it all that is. It feels so real. Like even though on one level you can rationalise the experience it FEELS SO REAL. So when I heard this explanation that resonated with me, my interest in this whole phenomenon of fear spiked.

So two types of fear they say… You see it is thought by many in the spiritual and the scientific world that these fears are indeed innate. Encoded in our DNA. They exist in all human beings as survival mechanisms. The fear of falling is thought to stem from the experience of our soul dropping down into our body and trying to figure out exactly how to shift into this new state. From light to physical matter. Survival mode. As once in the human form, the act of falling from any great height challenges our very mortality.

The fear of loud noises is also encoded as a survival technique. Loud noises can often signify or alert us to danger and the need for the sympathetic nervous system flight or flight to kick in. Take a read below.

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/10/29/health/science-of-fear/

So think about this for a moment. All the other fears and phobias we experience as human beings are down to environmental conditioning. All of them. Every single thing outside of falling (or heights/skydiving/anything that results in possible falling) or loud noises is not a fear you have to just live with. It is not something you just have to accept as part of yourself and lose out on some valuable life experiences due to it.

Now you may be saying I am ok with not going near spiders or snakes or doing public speaking. And that may be fine. Like any change things generally need to get uncomfortable in the status quo before we seek to alter it. But I am talking here more about the less discussed fears. The ones we don’t like to own up to. The ones we will do almost anything to avoid even acknowledging let alone working to dissolve them. Those buggers are the worst. Or are they? Depends, as always, on perception.

This past month the Consciousness Coaches and myself have been set a challenge by our leader (ha didn’t mean that to sound extra terrestrial but we are all amazingly out of this world!;) It was called the FUCK FEAR CHALLENGE. Every single day for 30 days we were held accountable by ourselves and each other to post on our group page one fear we faced that day and any action we took around leaning into it. And let me tell you no word of a lie; it was one of the most PROFOUND things I have ever been a part of.

Every single one of us made some massive shifts. We let go of things that no longer serve us. We acknowledged parts of ourselves we were ashamed of or scared of sharing out of fear of being rejected or unlovable. We faced financial survival fears. Attachment to material things. The desire for material things. Allowing in love. Being seen. Expressing around the notion of not being enough. Facing people who had done wrong by us. Boundary building. Workplace shifts. Standing up and holding our own space when we weren’t being respected. Speaking our truth to those close to us. Learning when to save our energy and just exit the situation. Learning to honour our bodies and our urges……The list goes on and on and on. The shifts were incredible and oh so freakin inspiring! And let me tell you they all come back to the environmental ideas we create that if we are not (*insert whatever you tell yourself here) we wont be loved, accepted, connected and hence part of the tribe.

But the one thing we all agreed on at the end was how incredible the lens of fear can be. How crippling. How strong. But how wonderful it is too. It honestly became our friend.

Without fear there is no motivation. No driving force. No incentive to change. No hope for a different outcome or future. Without fear there is no way that any of us would ever actually grow. We would all just be happy cruising along in our standard little lives never really experiencing all the things that life has to offer. Not truly LIVING! GROWING! EVOLVING!

So next time you notice a fear come up in you, jot it down. Sit with it. What is it trying to protect you from? Some will be rational. Some irrational. But what is it truly masking? Because it is sitting in you as a catalyst for change. It is exciting. It is your future. And you can take it, acknowledge it and then pop it aside so you can step even more into your light every single time.

The choice is all yours. Are you willing?

Love and light, Michelle xxx

My Types of Archetypes

Is being single the worst thing in the world?  This is what I have been questioning myself of late, over and over again. I flip between feeling sad and feeling great about it and essentially I realise it is not something you either can, or should for that matter, force. But there are times when it would be nice to have someone to share the moments with. To live with. Laugh with. Even someone to disagree with. Make love to. Spoon with. But most of all, someone to grow with.

So how ironic, that as I sat to write this and flicked on the TV for background noise, none other than Miss Bridget Jones herself was staring back at me. Let me tell you, the scene where she’s eating ice-cream and sobbing to “All By Myself” had me in awkwardly uncontrollable hysterics of laughter. Possibly too close to reality for me. In this laugh or cry moment, I chose laugh. To an outsider watching, I am sure it would’ve looked like I could turn at any moment. Another questionable sanity moment, brought to you by yours truly;)

But really, I am ok. I realise I am lucky. I have two amazing children, who keep me young and grounded and grateful for every day. I also get me time, where I am consciously learning a deep understanding of myself and why I do the things I do, on top of letting my hair down and enjoying life. So when I got the opportunity to partake in an extra PD course for Life Lessons and Soul Contracts, I jumped at the chance. Thank you again Eryka Stanton!

The basis of this weekend course was to determine our personality traits. It was stated and I believe that the particular traits that we take on are not just by chance or environmental. They are in fact part of our life plan to learn the lessons we are here to learn on the journey to enlightenment. Freedom. Acceptance. Being.

By establishing these traits we can determine exactly how and why we react the way we do to situations. What drives us. What upsets us. What triggers us. Angers us. Hurts us. Inspires us. It was described as a blue print to this lifetime. Exciting to say the least! And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. Some of the insights I got about myself were so deep, some a little unsettling, but so freeing.

So the basic run down is that every human being on the planet has 12 life long personality traits – archetypes – that help us to learn the life lessons we are here to learn. Other archetypes may come in and out in particular life stages or situations however they are temporary. Your 12 are for life. Every single human has 4 universal archetypes that are tied up with our basic needs for survival, on an energetic level.  The Child, The Victim, The Prostitute and The Saboteur. The other 8 are encoded at birth. The list of these archetypes is extensive and as society changes, so does the list. It is more about what resonates with how you see yourself.

The key to this process is to take any strong opinions out of the picture. I mean who would necessarily claim the prostitute? Society would have you believe it generally as negative.  But when you look into the archetype it is less about sex and more about trading in your values and morals in order to gain anything. Material or financial is usually where this is at. The level of fear that is behind the notion that if you do not sell that product, work for that company with questionable morals, conduct yourself in certain ways that don’t reflect your values and morals; these are all forms of prostitution. Well the negative side of prostitution. As everything in life there is a flip side. A light aspect to balance out the shadow. And that is how it was discussed. Every archetype has the ability to be expressed in either its light form or its shadow form. The light side to the Prostitute is having self worth, boundaries and integrity. Not surprisingly, when the shadow is being expressed – this in lies any of your life fears and pain, but is also where you will find the answer to gaining peace.

For instance through the process of finding my extra 8, I was blown away when “The Judge” kept coming up. This was not something that I wanted to take on. I always thought of myself as quite open, understanding and accepting. I had a strong negative emotional reaction to this archetype being attached to me as a person. In that moment, I completely forgot I had just learnt that the judge also has a light aspect to it. It seeks justice, standardisation and fairness across the board. It advocates for equality and seeks mediation and resolution. It is purely my perception that the judge is rigid, bossy and unwilling to listen to others points of view. And the kicker peeps, it is always when we project these things that it is a true reflection of self. So right there, it felt uncomfortable to hear about myself but a massive opportunity to learn and grow! And seriously, when you are completely real and honest with yourself it is the best feeling in the world. Pure acceptance of my true self. Carolyn Myss is where it is at for a great starting point in terms of literature on this topic if you want to have a read.

So after a while we got to talking about love and relationships. It was only myself and one other single girl in the room. It was explained that on that day when you decide to commit yourself to that other person, it is not just you and them but your 12 other friends and their 12 other friends deciding to love each other. And when you look at it like that, true love is just honestly quite phenomenal.

So I can’t force it. I can’t create it out of nothing. I have to trust what will be will be and it is exciting to think that my dream guy and his 12 friends are out their wondering where I and my 12 friends are too. But the best thing I can do now is to work on the notion of the law of attraction. Like seeks like. I attempt to not be sad I am ‘single’. It is an amazing opportunity for me to work at bringing all of my 12 friends into the light, so that when we attract someone new, the likeliness that they too will be in a place of light, is greatly increased. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all human. I don’t expect all sunshine and rainbows. I believe that like Shrek, all archetypes are like onions. They have multiple layers. But as you peel them back, they get smaller and easier to peel away. It still makes your eyes water, but it is definitely not for as long or as intense.

So if I want to attract what I really want than I will be what I think that amazing dream man will be. For I am looking for my equal. Someone to laugh with. Grow with. Enjoy life with. Ups, downs and all the in betweens.

So go tell your loved one you love them. And their 12 friends. Relationships never really get boring. Everyone has so many elements to them. There is always more to learn and a new layer of intimacy to be had. I hope if nothing else you leave this article and go to appreciate another layer of your love. Or of yourself.

Peace, love and light

Much love, Michelle xxx

 

 

For The Love Of Your Soul

Love. Wonderful, heart-warming, all consuming, body aching, soul-redeeming love. You just have to love, love. For love it its true form, shows no boundaries. It is unconditional. Divine. Pure. It is not just a construct we have placed around a word. It has real feeling. Emotion. Life. Without love, a human can simply not survive. What an undeniably powerful and amazing thing.

We as humans, show and receive this love in many many different forms. Often  with many different rules regarding how, who, what and why we will or won’t love something. On many occasions we are not tuned in to why someone we care about is behaving a certain way and we think they are being a giant asshole. But often, if that someone is someone close, in their mind their actions are out of love. It just may be coming from a place of fear. Fear for you, fear for your safety, fear of losing your connection, fear of rejection or many other things we as humans are fearful of. The fear comes from the thought that if something happens to lose this love, it threatens your survival. The irony, it’s the fearful actions that usually lead to relationship breakdowns.

So it isn’t really surprising, that when it comes to a situation in life such as romantic relationships in which we may have to work hard at on a daily basis, we will want to create an epitome. We love to have something to work towards. To prove we have won, succeeded, are better than others or just smashing every area of life. Or alternatively, something or someone to blame if things don’t work out how we imagined when everything was exciting and new in the beginning. So what is the epitome of a romantic partner?

It is your SOULMATE…

This word came up tonight and I got to thinking. Where did the idea even come from? Is it real? Is it helpful to put that pressure and expectations a relationship and is it possible to have more than one?

Now I don’t know the answer but wow what a fascinating thing to research! Essentially, it doesn’t matter what the “answer” is, as your truth is the only thing that counts; but seriously I just wanted to share what I found out about a concept we love to dream about and idealise, or if you’re a believer, live by. Obviously there are many schools of thought and every religion seems to have their take.

  • In Judaism a soulmate is called a “Bashert” a Yiddish word meaning ‘destiny’. They believe marriages are made in heaven and are chosen before we are even born.

 

  • Plato described early humans to have two faces, four arms and four legs. As per punishment for not existing as the Gods had envisaged, humans were cut in half and sewn back together at the navel. In this process the male half left with one half of the soul and the female with the other. They then spent the rest of their time on earth in search of their other half, so they could again feel complete. To lay side by side and become whole again, was deemed the epitome of happiness.

 

  • Some mediums believe in soul contracts. These are contracts that are made before we come into our human form stating we will carry out specific relationships with other specific souls during their time on earth, with the preceded intention of both souls interacting to give each other lessons and elements of the journey they need in the current incarnation.

 

  • Buddhism however, believes that although it is possible for one to believe in this notion so strongly, that the fear surrounding the idea of not pursuing the other half of their soul or the energy they will always feel incomplete without,  is too much to bare. It is only by seeking this epitome with the goal of one day finding it, that the form (body/person), will feel secure in this process, until they are ready to evolve or move on from that perceived attachment. Does the religion itself believe in the construct? In short, no.

And the list goes on and on. I was reading for hours. Love me some philosophy! How fascinating. Seriously though it is now ridiculous o’clock and I am completely immersed in this stuff. I am trying to figure out what I feel about it all.

Being a single girl, can sometimes bring up a little bit of fear. Will I die alone with my cats and no one finds me until the cat has eaten half my face off kind of stuff. (Yes SATC if you got it). Just those standard fears. But as I am delving into the work I am doing to unpack all my shit and let go of it for good, I am realising that none of these fears are serving any purpose in me trying to have the life I dream of. Where all is good and I give and receive love without conditions. That is the existence I hope to move toward.

It is easy to say to our loved ones, I love you no matter what. But what if your partner had an affair, what if they killed a child and left the scene, what if your child robbed someone of their life savings or even something as simple as followed their heart to someone you didn’t feel was right for them? Would you still offer them unconditional, unwavering love?

To me that is what a true soul mate would do. Would look past the event, past how it looks to the outside – including yourself – past any judgements, past any personalising of the event. To look solely to you and how that event needed to happen in both of your lives in order to learn the lessons you both needed to learn. Even if the lesson is repeated a thousand times over. In order for your soul to grow, be nourished and thrive. In order to be the best you that you can be.

Lets be honest, that is a pretty tall ask for most of us. And the only reason I say that is because most of us don’t even know how to give that kind of unconditional love to ourselves. To not beat ourselves up over our lessons. To be able to step back and look at it all from a place of learning and growth. For it is only when we truly love ourselves we have the capacity to truly love others without prejudice and condition. To see the big picture.

Therefore I think this soul journey, is solely for one. And when you are on the path to seeking your own complete soul, everything and everyone else that comes to you is a bonus!

Deep? Yeah maybe, but my soul mate will definitely get it! Oh wait, I do!

Now go tell yourself, you love you no matter what!

You are eternally safe and loved, Michelle xxx

It Won’t Rain On My Parade

This morning I was on my walk, looking all around as I do and taking it all in. It was a cracker winters day. As I glanced up to the sky to appreciate the suns rays on my pale face I was deep in thought about how it feels weird when absolutely nothing is wrong in my life. Not weird bad or good just a feeling I’m not used to having. Because until now I haven’t allowed it.

Momentum in life is a powerful tool. It’s so exciting and inspiring when all the little seeds you’ve planted in the Autumn have burrowed in. The root systems are in place and they’re starting to weave their magic building the strong foundations throughout the ground I will be growing from. Spring is just around the corner and I am on track to flower bigger and brighter than any other spring I’ve lived.

I have had a few people reach out to me of late. This alone gives me a deep sense that I am going on the right path in life. To have people respect and trust in your opinion, advice or guidance, I believe, is really the highest honour in this world. The resounding thing I am hearing is a common thread of feeling overwhelmed or lost in direction. Seemingly polar opposites yet I believe come from the same foundation. An uncertainty in how to navigate the busy and unfulfilled lives many of us are living. Doing too many things that don’t make us happy and not enough that truly do nourish the soul. Now I in no way think I have all the answers. But what I do know is the shift that has happened in my world. That and I care. I genuinely want to share what I learn to help others break free and feel happy, fulfilled and in love with themselves.

So today I thought I would share some of the people I find inspiring and those that have helped me get to where I am and where I am going. Do with it what you will.

Louise Hay – a well known spiritual guide and founder of Hay House, I came across her through another amazing woman I will mention shortly. I was put on to her book You Can Heal Your Life. Life changing to say the least. If you’re not a reader get it as an audio book and listen. The bits you are ready to hear will get through. I also highly recommend following her on Facebook. It’s quite astounding to me how her positive affirmations and mindfulness activities can often change my day around for the better. Here’s a link to her e-book if you’re interested.

https://www.amazon.com.au/gp/aw/d/B000SEHQ96?fp=1&pc_redir=T1

Linda B: an amazing psychotherapist, reiki master and spiritual guide, I have been blessed to work with one on one. If you’re in Australia or want to come here for mindfulness experiences, definitely get in touch. Check out her page below for all her mindfulness and nourishment retreats.

http://www.lindabe.com/retreats.html

Eryka Stanton: Soul Coach and Psychic and Energy worker and the founder of my Consciousness Coaching Course. Eryka is based in Melbourne but does Skype work world wide and looks to help individuals to let go of who they think they need to be a realign with their true self. Their soul. You can check out her work, her soul-blog and many interesting affiliates and articles through her website link below.

http://www.empoweredliving.com.au

Quantum Physics: If you prefer a more scientific based approach to the spiritual take. There is so much research on the field of Quantum Physics. This page below updates their articles regularly with new interesting research done by more modern scientific methodology and approaches.

http://www.mediation-research.org.uk/tag/quantum-physics/

Sjana Earp: I find this girl completely inspiring. Go check her out. Instagram, FB and YouTube all have endless hits when you type in this name if you don’t know it already. But look past what you think you see and read some of her blogs, her poetry and her story. An amazing, inspiring, intelligent and yes stunning woman who you can’t help but be amazed by.

http://www.sjana.com.au

The People: Just by putting my interest out there, I have been beyond blown away with the response and connections I am making. People from every corner of the globe contacting me with beautiful words and well wishes. There are so many amazing inspiring people out there. We are a world full of greatness if that is what you choose to look for. You could start here by going through my list of who I follow on Instagram. Beautiful caring people shining their individual light on the world.

There is no deep seeded reason in which I think you should listen to what I have to say. For I have no agenda. I do not think I know more or am better than anyone else. I think there are many brilliant and inspirational people with very similar mantras spreading their light though the world. If I can just positively affect even 1 person in their life’s journey I would be more than happy. I believe the reason there are so many people spreading a similar message is because in order to actually hear it, different people need different delivery. It could be the energy behind it, the standing in which they hold the person delivering the information, the exact way it is said, the humour that comes with it, the seriousness that comes with it, the religion behind it; whatever it is different people will just gravitate to different delivery. I can only be me and deliver my message in my way.

And just to clarify I believe the core message is to Love Yourself. Everything else will follow.

When this is realised, one will see what is good over bad and treat those around them with the same love and light in which they treat themselves. That is the epitome. Something to grow towards without ever blaming yourself for the lessons learnt along the way. You are doing and have done your best with what you know and have experienced. You create your reality. You are in control of your happiness. You are enough.

If there is even a hint of anything happening within you right now, I encourage you to sit with the feeling. What is it stiring up inside you? I in no way expect anything from this. You are reading, but why? Why do you want this for you? Try to identify the feeling. Are you warm, curious, happy, perplexed, interested, frustrated, angry, sad, blaming? Really be honest with yourself. Ok so you’re feeling it. Do you like to feel that way? If yes would you like to foster and grow that internal gratitude or if no would you like to change it? Now what?

This is where I find from experience things can get fearful, because now we need to act on it. Actually take some steps toward growing or change. If that is what you want. Only you know that. I think an amazing step would be to open some of the links I have shared above and check out some of the content. You may have seen it before. It may not interest you. It may not be delivered in the right way. But at least energetically you have taken steps to open your mind to the experience and the growth. Without any judgement or expectation. Just a hope that it spreads a bit of love and light.

So back to the featured image of today. As I glanced up to the sky on my walk, I saw this image that made me burst out laughing. There is always some stormy grumpy ass cloud trying to rain on your parade. It’s up to you if you let it. Or you can look at it and see the beauty that lies within the storm and just wait for it to pass while you dance in the rain. So that’s a little insight into how my mind works and what I saw from this image.

Beauty and wonder is all around. Give yourself the time to appreciate whatever it is that brings you joy.

Put yourself first. For you are important and worthy of everything your heart desires.

And don’t let asshole clouds rain on your parade.

Much love, Michelle xxx

Free To Be Me

There is a cafe near my house, that has been a feature in some key moments of my life here in Melbourne. Without it meaning to be. Without any orchestrated effort. Key life events have occurred in this very spot that I am typing from right now. I like to write here so I feel out and about. Like I am part of the world that is going on around me. That, and the WIFI in my house is ridiculously slow and intermittently non-exinsistant. Also, I don’t make great coffee.

This cafe is a place I had my first breakfast out when we moved over. The place I had my first breakfast with my now ex. The place I sat and wrote my first ever blog. The place I was sitting out the front of in my car with the rain pouring down and my tears equally as flowing, on Wednesday night to access their internet so I could get some important documents off for my next venture in life. The place, I am sitting in right now writing this piece to you before I head off for my first day at my new course.

Considering it starts today, I thought I would get up early, treat myself to breakfast and write down how I am feeling. Then I wanted to add to that the aftermath of my first day, just like I did for my first ever blog. Reflection is key to growth as is gratitude. Right here, right now I feel so much gratitude. For my waking up this morning. For my ability to start the day feeling warm and safe in my home. My freedom to be able to attend the course and be encouraged and free to learn. For my porridge with poached pear and pistachios and most of all for COFFEE;)

I am actually surprised. I do not feel in the slightest bit nervous. Maybe that will kick in as I pull up out the front. Or maybe that is because I am finally on the right path and my whole being knows it. I am feeling calm and confident on my ability to be the best I can be. And if/when there are hiccups along the way, I am feeling calm and confident in my ability to realign and learn and grow from those experiences. I mean if I have survived everything I have and still come out winning thus far, things can only get better.

I read the most amazing blog post last night I want to share. About a different way of looking at our wounds. Everyone has wounds. And what may really affect one soul could be brushed off my another. But you can never discount how something affects someone as it is all relative to their experience. The beauty of this article was to look at the hurt from a different perspective. To look at it from a place that within the wound lies your treasure. Your gift. On the deepest level, everything, even seemingly bad experiences, happen for a reason. Anyway, take a look. I thought it was beautiful.

https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/is-psychology-making-us-sick/201607/healing-our-wounds-finding-the-gold-within

Ok. Fast forward 9 hours and I am sitting on my couch at home after my first day of training to becoming a Consciousness Coach. And can I say, I was BLOWN AWAY! On every level. Firstly, the instructor. She is just the warmest, sweetest, kindest, funniest lady you could come across. At no point in the 7 hour day did I zone out or lose interest in what was happening. She was so interesting and engaging and I am beyond privileged she is my mentor. Secondly, all the other people in my group. Just beautiful! Thirdly, the content. Sensational. It really is a game changer and a new way of looking at healing ourselves to realign with our true selves in a real and tangible way that is able to be integrated into every day life. Because it comes completely from within.

No 10 steps to happiness with no thoughts to your individual circumstances, no formal must do or you fail approach, just working on you, with you, completely for you. Eryka Stanton is her name. She has collated so much knowledge and personal experience in her time on this planet and she has brought it all together  with the intent to share it with likeminded individuals looking to help people heal themselves from a very core, soul based level. That is right, teach people how to heal themselves. Not to do it for them, or give strategies to follow in order to structure your life to get what you want. No you do it yourself through the guidance offered. She teaches how to integrate it into your day to day life to allow you to not only realign with your true self but to maintain the changes and continue the growth. To strip away your ego and who you think you are, lose your need to be seen a certain way by others and allow yourself to be truly yourself and therefore truly happy. I think this is amazing. So many of us want quick fix approaches to feel better but the truth is you have put a lot of time and energy into sitting with the feelings you experience. You need to put just as much time and energy into changing the patterns that don’t work for you. If you’re interested in her work, check her out at http://www.empoweredliving.com.au

For me, it just resonated. I was not expected to act in any particular way, talk in any particular way or think in any particular way. In fact I was encouraged to speak before I thought. This is one of my strongest skills so I nailed it in that aspect lol. But really I just think it is so exciting. Not just for me but for the world. We need it. So many people are looking for it. For some understanding and guidance without feeling like they have to lose themselves and their likes and preferences in order to fit the mould of the people guiding them. You are just free to be you and find your true purpose.

For me, this is actually beyond mind blowing. If you remember, that is exactly what I said I wanted to find through my journey. Something I felt safe in that was from within myself, to guide me to be true to my true self. My soul. And here it is. Presenting itself to me on a platter. More proof that if you put it out there with love and good intention, things come full circle and help guide you through life. For in those darker hard times, we learn the lessons we need to learn in order to grow.

And the best part. It will never end. My journey is infinite. So if I get to have these wins now, imagine where this mindfulness will take me!

Be kind, love strong, be curious, be brave, be you:)

Much love, Michelle xxx