Act As If

Hands up who has heard of the phrase “act as if”. Often cited in the words of manifesting guides and the “Law of Attraction” and other such methods of attracting abundance and creating the life you truly desire.

“Act as if” basically requires one to live, breathe and believe they are creating the life and future they truly want to experience.

So where is the line you ask,  between allowing yourself to go there and visualise this alternate future reality and just being downright delusional? Or is there even a line?

There is so much to be said for the way children go about “make believe”. They dive in with such curiosity and feeling that they go to that place in which the game they are immersed in, does for that moment in time, become their reality. Like those weeks in which my son would predominantly act as if he were a cat, purring and meowing at everything I said or did. Or those months in which my daughter would only go by the name “Rainbow Dash Sparkle Glitter Princess” To them that place they created for themselves was more enjoyable than their other reality options so they chose to stay in the one that brought them joy. This makes a crap load of sense to me. Kids are smart.

So although as adults it is necessary to have a firm grasp on the realities that provide us the basics like shelter, food, clothing and money – many of us are opening the peripheries  to this kind of mindset training. Awesome! BUT… how quickly we give up hope when that 1k, or that new car, or that dream boyfriend, we asked for doesn’t show up near on immediately.

We get disheartened so easily from the process. If we don’t get quick results how do we know it is even working. And then it just becomes another thing we are giving our time and energy to and getting seemingly nowhere.

But this is where the true gold lies. Ok so if were honest most of us go into manifesting with some material goal in mind. We want more money. Or a home. Or a new wardrobe. Or a holiday etc etc… Because when we get these things we will be happy right? Right? Hmmmmmmm…… will you? Only you can truly answer that.

The thing is though – if 2/3 of you is going into goal reaching and manifesting with the right intentions but there is still 1/3 of you that is voicing the opposite can you see how confusing the message can be? Even 1/8 of you not believing will slow the process down.

FRUSTURATING RIGHT! Ha! I know. And this is where I see it to be all backward. So many of these mindsets are marketed at the influx of material items. Now please don’t get me wrong. Financial freedom and material items are great! I love money, experiences nice clothes and holidays. And it is 1000000000% normal and ok to want for it. But what is the 1/3 or 1/8 of you that doesn’t believe you can truly live the life you want to actually saying. Why is it that you actually feel like you do not have that capacity within you to get all the things you want in life?

I bet its not saying “a holiday a year is a bit excessive don’t you think” or “enough money to pay you bills comfortably is selfish”  It all comes back to how we view ourselves in the world. Our self love and knowledge that we are indeed WORTHY! This is it. That simple. And it will reverberate into every aspect of your being.

So this is why the “act as if” phrase to me is a beautiful piece of wisdom. Unlock that inner child in you. The one that knows how to make believe and go into that space in which you are the superhero of your own existence. Or the cat or princess. Hey everyones dream is different;) Really access that space within you that is carefree and creative and play with the vision. Allow it to wash over you. FEEL it. Anchor it in to the cells in your body. Allow it to be your reality.

Then that feeling. That pulsing or warmth or lightness or buzzing or whatever it is that you feel in you; FOLLOW IT. Use that as your guide to make every decision in your life. Following the vibrational energy you want to become. Create the energetic vibration and then live it every day. It truly is this simple. But no-one ever said it was going to be easy.

Show up every day. Love yourself first. Bring out that inner child and celebrate all that you already have.

The rest will come… then before you know it, you’re no longer acting.

Love and light, Michelle xx

 

Overcoming Life Sucking Fear

For most of us, fear rules our day to day lives. It is why we go to the jobs that we hate that don’t fulfil us. It is why we don’t tell our partners what we really want to say about what we need emotionally, spiritually, sexually, financially. It is why we continue the same old dynamics with our family members that leave us feeling frustrated and misunderstood. It is why we agree with our friends opinions out loud but not really in our guts, hearts and minds. It is why we attend things and do things that we actually don’t want to do. Or say things we don’t really believe. It is why most of us go into many day to day situations pretending to be anyone other than our true authentic selves.

Have you ever sat there and asked yourself why you do these things? Why you avoid the tricky conversations? Why you avoid standing up for yourself and imposing some healthy boundaries around your own personal needs and wants? Have you asked yourself if failure, rejection or change would actually kill you? Or why and when you decided that you didn’t matter enough to be heard, seen, loved and held exactly as you are? Or why you feel you are unworthy of living a life you actually passionatley desire to live?

So many of us struggle along in silence. Ticking the perceived needed boxes of what a majority of us call our lives. Relationship…Job…Social Status…Mortgage…Cars.. Counting down the days and minutes we get to clock off work. Leave the family to go see friends. Go on holidays. End the week. End the relationship. Find a relationship. Earn that money.

The “I’ll be happy when …” syndrome.

What if none of that stuff actually meant anything to you in your heart of hearts but you never actually took the time to ask yourself what it is that you do want and need in order to be truly fulfilled?

Susan Jeffers, author of international best seller, Feel The Fear And Do It Anyway; gives the below list of examples of signs that can bring  our attention to what scenarios of our lives we are giving away our power and not taking responsibility of our own empowered option of choice.

Feelings of: anger, impatience, upset, joylessness, fatigue, blaming others, pain, attempting to control others, lack of focus, obsessiveness, self-pity, addictions, envy, judgmentalness, helplessness, disappointment, constant state of limbo, jealousy.

Are you feeling any of these in your daily existence? Be honest with yourself. It is actually exciting if you recognise it. Then you’re prime for growth and change. Well done you!!

I fucking jumped this year. Backed myself. I dove head first into an existence I didn’t even perceive to be possible until I started following my gut. Into my real passion and what drives me and what lights me up. The world of coaching, energy work and helping empower people to understand, heal and nourish themselves. And although I am growing exponentially as a practitioner and as a person I’d be lying if I didn’t say I still deal with fears on a daily basis. However I push through. Despite the ability for me to be even more rejected, have more chances to fail,  be judged, ridiculed and misunderstood more than I ever encountered inside the box that many know as comfortable, what allows me to say fuck the fear and do it anyway?

What do I think are some key elements to stepping into this type of courage as opposed to staying stuck in a life of paralysed fear and partial living.

  1. CLARITY: This does not mean a strict 5 year plan. Ha! I would run from that! I mean find something that lights you up! What does everyone always comment you are good at? Whats the activity or thing you do that helps you forget about all the bs in life? For me, I am clear on what I want and that is what I am going after. For me this clarity is in my chosen career. Life is a journey made up of many facets. Right now I am so clear on what brings me happiness and joy which is my chosen profession and personal growth journey and that is what I am focused on. Conversely in terms of relationships I am still unsure of exactly what I need and want so I have freed myself up to grow outside of that in something I am passionate about. Rather than doing what many of us do and hope that someone or something else outside of us will save us or fulfil us. The power is always within. Trust yourself.
  2. YOUR POSSE: Not always easy I know, but make a conscious effort to weed out the people that don’t make you feel good. If you are constantly dulling your shine or consciously changing your behaviour to fit in – this includes family and work – STEP BACK! I get sometimes stepping away completely is not an option but free yourself up from too much time in situations in which you can’t be your true self. This can be lonely at first I understand from personal experience. But then you get really into the space of being you and you’ll start vibing with and attracting the right crowd before you know it! Promise!
  3. VULNERABILITY: Huge. Massive. Ballsy. Freeing. Scary as FUCK. But oh so worth it. It relates to the above too. Once you allow yourself the space to be you and vibe with your people they will help bring your vulnerability out. Purely because you will feel safe and comfortable. This has been a HUGE one for me. Really letting people step forward. Help me. Save me. Be there for me. Allowing myself to be seen and heard and ask for help even though it is scary. But I took the time to learn who I am safe to do that with. And I have never felt more held, seen, raw, real and loved in my entire life.
  4. YOU TIME:  Check in time. Do the thing that calms you. Sit without distraction. Give yourself the space to differentiate between the voices in your head telling you bullshit and lies about you and allow the voice in your gut to deepen and get louder.  Be fearless in your own company. Allow yourself the time to sit with what you are feeling and work out where the voice of fear is coming from. As science has shown we are born with only two innate fears: the fear of falling and the fear of loud sounds – you can bet your bottom dollar the voice telling you bullshit lies isn’t your own. Working out who’s it is gives you the capacity to realise that it isn’t yours and therefore you have the power to decide whether or not it is true for you. (FYI – its not, you’re more than enough) Trust yourself.
  5. MASSIVE IMPERFECT ACTION: All the gurus are using this phrase. Tony Robbins, Oprah,  Gary Vaynerchuk, Grace Lever. Just do something. Even a little thing. Research. Talk to people. Go to a workshop or class. Do a brainstorm or a vision board. Give yourself the opportunity to try. To test the waters. To feel what it feels like to go after what you want. And with every time you step into that space you get that little bit better at taking the leap of faith.

So for me… do I know how it is all going to work out? No. No I don’t. But I trust that it will. Even now when I sit in the fear I have never felt so sure of my path. I have never felt so alive and excited to wake up every day and put my heart and soul into everything I do. I have never before had this capacity to allow myself to be so open and seen and back myself all the way.

I have never believed in myself so much. And that is because I wasn’t being myself so how the fuck was I supposed to believe in that?

Now? Now I trust. And I truly want that for you.

Get in touch.

Love and light, Michelle xxx

http://www.soulboundtm.com

 

Re-Framing Change

Change is inevitable. There is no moment just like the one that is happening right now. You will never be the same age as you are right this second. Life is constantly evolving. This we know. So why do we so often resist change as if it is our enemy?

I heard an interesting summary about energy and change lately that really stuck with me. I was listening to a blockage clearing workshop by Christie Marie Sheldon and as with a lot she says, it is the way she says it that seems to just get through to me.

We (humans) are just a mass of energy; vibrating molecules constantly in a state of change…So when we get stuck, when we resist change – just IMAGINE how much energy that takes to try and fight against the natural state. The natural state of constant change.

Yet here we are, fixed in our minds, fixed in our beliefs, fixed in our actions and fixed in our day to day routines and programming that we are conditioned to believe is the only way to live our lives. Many of us are now awakened to the notion that we are not fulfilled in the lives we are leading. But most of us want a quick fix and seek these short term solutions or bold promises of inner peace, a life of abundance and change in “x” amount of time. And then when they don’t work – FAST – we give up hope and go back to the old way. The conditioned way. But what if we re-framed the way we look at the concept of change. What if we appreciated that we are in fact innately wired to go with the flow. That it is purely environmental conditioning that has lead us to consider otherwise.

This road to finding self is by far and away the most important thing a soul (human) can do in order to make a true difference in this world. In saying that; it can be confusing. It can be overwhelming. It can be frustrating. It can be uninviting. It can be full of bullshit and assholes. It can be misguided. It can be very far from the nurturing, open, accepting, growing, peaceful journey it is made out to be.

Then throw in our own inner shit on top and no wonder many of us run back to retreat in what was.

Change can be big. Change can seem scary. But this is how I am re-framing the concept of change in order to show people they are kicking goals on a daily basis. Even if you don’t feel like it.

INTENTION. DIRECTION. BELIEF. ACTION. Whilst all parts reflect upon each other, this is how I have documented the process occurring. With each step giving you a great step to both reflect on and launch from.

You see as soon as you set an INTENTION to change, as soon as life pushes you to the point where you no longer want to deal with things the way that they are; all the nuggets of gold you need to walk through to get from where you are to where you want to be will become apparent. An intent to change is in fact change. As it is a different way of thinking for you. Acknowledge that. Celebrate that.

This INTENTION will immediately put you into a DIRECTION as you seek to find the right pathway for you. Although this can seem overwhelming at times as you sift through the copies amounts of information available to us in this day and age, when the intent is strong enough and further change is what is best for you at this given moment at some point something will jump out at you. It will resonate. Even if it is for the short term. Celebrate it. Being open minded for new information is change!

When we find a DIRECTION in an area we are seeking solutions and answers and comfort in and it resonates with us on a deep and meaningful level, we begin to allow ourselves to open up to all the possibilities this new way of living can bring. Thus we allow our BELIEF structures to be more flexible in order to align with this new found direction. Getting to the core of beliefs can be a life time of work as they often have many layers, but this doesn’t mean don’t celebrate the opening and flexibility and breaking down of these beliefs that no longer serve our soul.

The inspiration we allow ourselves to feel if we embrace the previous elements, will without question lead to further ACTION. As we seek to learn, feel, experience and grow more into this new awareness and knowing. All the while facilitating all these elements of change.

The key here, is to celebrate every element. It doesn’t have to be that you have to get to exactly where you want to be immediately. Celebrate the journey along the way. And don’t let the little hiccups or apparent lack of big victories to dishearten you and keep you stuck in what was.

Because change is a constant. So save yourself a lot of time, energy and drama and just go with the flow. Your flow.

I’ll be here to facilitate you all the way http://www.soulboundtm.com

Love and light, Michelle

 

Heart Chakra; SoulBound; Blog Post; Self Awareness

A Broken Heart Is An Open Heart

As we grow and become more self aware, the lessons we are here to learn seem to get somewhat easier. As you come into your truth, the synchronicities align and you flow at one with life.

In saying this, life is life and a blow to my heart this week had me physically hunched over and grabbing at my heart space as if I needed to support its weight.

I am an empath. I feel. It’s what I do. And I don’t do it in halves either. Everything is magnified in the most beautifully emotional of ways and I have learned to hold this part of me in high regard. In a world of people trying to zone out of their truth with deflection and numbing I am way more inclined to go in and figure out why it is being experienced the way it is. Hence my path of energy work and mind body soul coaching.
So when I received the validation I was still loved by the guy I wanted to hear it from I was outwardly trying to be cool. I mean I know the roller coaster we have joined each other on. But inside I was clutching. Will this time be different? Will he really hold true to my interpretation of the true meaning of these words and hold the space that comes along with it? Has he finally seen that I am an important part of his life and he is willing to risk his fears and put himself in the arena? Was he finally ready to be truly vulnerable?
So I laid in hope. Waiting with baited breath for the next conversation. And in less than a 24 turn- around he had again expressed that he was not ready to be in that with me. And you know what? It’s ok. I already knew deep down that that was the outcome and that this was how it was going to play out.
But that knowledge doesn’t stop the pain of a broken heart does it? It doesn’t stop you wanted to curl up stay in bed and replay all the things that maybe could’ve changed the outcome. This time however, I can see what needs to be different.
As well as the usual, needing to give myself more love,  acknowledge I am seeking outside validation and all the growth and awareness I have acquired around these “I am not enough” trigger points, this time I decided to do this different. This time I was going to really process it. Like fully. How many fucking times have I lived this cycle in my days and I have never been rewarded with the outcome I so strongly desire. To be loved and shown love by the man of my choosing without any conditions.
So time to heed my own advice: If you always do what you always did; then you’ll always get what you always got.
What is the first thing we often experience in times of pain? Like when something emotionally rocks us? We feel it in our body don’t we. You physically react. Face in hands. Hand to heart. Aching stomach. Headaches. Tiredness. Numbness. Out of body experiences. Shoulder tension. Any massive number of ailments. Physical markers that your energy, emotional and spiritual bodies are struggling to integrate the energy playing out within and around you.
And as these stage scenes are more often than not just replays of the same energy patterns just with different co-stars and sets, we take it on as further evidence to support our beliefs that life is exactly how we perceive it to be.
It is the cold, unloving, unfair, uncertain, unsafe environment we have designed it to be. And in that we are living as reactive egos that have disempowered ourselves to the act of choice. We ALWAYS have the power of choice.
So when he muttered the time old words down the phone that things had indeed not changed, I physically recoiled and once again I wanted to myself shut down. I felt myself deciding that this just further proved I was simply never enough for someone. That I was not loved unconditionally and that no one will love me just for being me.
But for me this time I could clearly see I had a choice to make. Sounds easy right. Until you’re in it. However this time, I was responsive. I have chosen to keep my heart open. I acknowledged him and his feelings. It is his journey after all. I acknowledged that we are indeed wanting two completely different experiences when it comes to love. I acknowledged that I am not what he needs in his experience any longer as much as he is no longer what I need. We learnt our lessons. It is time to let go. But this holds no bearing at all to either of our worth. I, and he, will be more than enough for the right person. And I am more than enough in myself.
So challenge. Next time you feel yourself physically respond to an emotional situation; or next time something emotional comes up – stop, shut your eyes and scan through your body. What exactly are you feeling and where exactly are you feeling it? The answer to this tells me a lot about where the belief sits in you and where it was acquired.
So I laid there. I felt it in my stomach (childhood belief – self worth), I felt it in my heart (yearning, repeated learnings, self love needs to be activated), then I gave myself Reiki to ensure my energy was flowing. Then I did a guided mediation around opening the heart chakra and allowing myself to both give and receive love. Then I anchored it into my body with a beautiful song that I know the day I get married will be in our ceremony playlist.
This doesn’t necessarily have to be the actions you take, this works for me. But the point is to remain open. Breathe life into that space. Fill it with the energy of life. The breath. Self love. Faith that everything is happening exactly the way it needs to be just for you. Even if it doesn’t feel like it.
The shift isn’t necessarily around it not hurting any more. We are human. You should be concerned if you don’t feel your emotions. The shift is around me realising that it is not me that is not enough. It is the situation that is not enough for me.
Keep your heart open. Have faith. You are always enough. You always have been and you always will be. All you have to do is allow the energy to flow.
Give and receive in balance.
Love and light,
Michelle xxx

Meditation For The Real World

Meditation. Commonly discussed. Becoming more commonly practiced. Many have tried it. But how many have stuck with it? How many of us in Western society find or make the time to make this a daily feature of our lives?

These days we are as a society becoming more aware of the benefits of such practices. In the go go go nature of our daily lives the need to “come home”  “check in” and “centre” ourselves has become increasingly understood, important and necessary.

We know this. But how may of us are actively doing it?

I know I have been guilty of this. I get new information. I immerse myself. I love it. I see the benefits. And then I drop off. I think, “I’m doing so well, I don’t need to do this as often or as diligently anymore”. I know I am not alone. It is human nature and I have seen it time and time again. We see the benefits, we think we are masters and all is fixed and good in our world again so we give ourselves permission to slack off. And I am not just talking about meditation. We do it with so many things that are good for us but take time and commitment to maintain.

How many of us have gym memberships we start out hounding and then before you know it, it drops off and then all of a sudden it is just another expense we pay for without needing to, but cancelling it would make us acknowledge the fact we are lying to ourselves and haven’t actually been inside the premises for many months. Health retreats are also big business these days. And they are wonderful educational amazing experiences don’t get me wrong. I have been blessed with going to some of the best in the Southern Hemisphere. And I always learn a heap, reconnect with myself, feel amazing and grow from the experience. But after a couple of weeks back home many of the new found lessons have fallen by the wayside as every day life again takes hold.

Change takes time and diligence. Not a weekend seminar. Not a week long retreat. Yes they are brilliant for the mind, body and soul and to reconnect with self but how many things to we keep for the long haul? After the initial false empowerment and perceived change how many of us actually make fundamental life long shifts?

I ask this often. As I slowly implement self love and growth into my daily life I am constantly seeking things that allow me to connect to that side of myself as well as being able to take part in my day to day activities and society as a whole.

It is all well to be zen in a zen place. Bringing it into your daily life is a whole other ball game. That is why I believe what I decided to do this weekend was a game changer.

Guys, I had an insanely eye opening experience this weekend that I think is going to really aid in changing the face of the often seemingly illusive goal of achieving majorly zen meditation sessions. The course – called CBM (Core Body Mind) Mediation was created and run by Jeremy O’Carroll founder of Om Reiki here in Melbourne, Australia.

Rather than me trying to deliver what it entails I will leave it to the expert. Heres a clip of his explanation of the concepts behind the theory and development and some of the methods he introduces.

As for my experience…

It delivered. I mean again I could be all wrapped up in the newness of it. But it really doesn’t feel like that. And I have been around the block a fair few times with short courses and workshops etc and I have jumped on a fair few bandwagons. But this is doable. Its practical. The benefits are obvious and immediate and you can easily slowly build the momentum incrementally without feeling like you are missing out on other things in your life you either want or need to do. You integrate this method into your day! That is the beauty of it. You are not sitting solo in a far away place away from everything and everyone you have ever known (which at times can feel like it would be heaven lol – but not practical for most).

Accessible, practical spirituality. That is totally a game changer in my opinion.

Hope it resonates with you and if you want any further information or details don’t hesitate to get in touch!

Love and light, Michelle xx

http://www.soulboundtm.com

 

Recognising Lesson Cycles

People, places, situations change; energy doesn’t. This is the exact line my first spiritual mentor used to say to me as I would sit across from him trying to make sense of why I felt and behaved in the ways I did and do.

Honestly at the time, this line would often infuriate me. I didn’t get it and all I wanted was an answer to my question. A solution to my problem. Some straight up CLARITY! At the time, I didn’t realise that that was exactly what he was giving me. He was planting the seed. He held no attachment to when that seed sprouted and took a life of its own. And as all personal growth can only be; it was up to me to water and nurture that seedling until it was strong enough to break through the soil of perceived life dramas and out into the open air and light. Into real living.

Another step forward or shift has happened in me of late. I had felt down. Low. Defeated. But with all my skills, knowledge and self belief I pulled myself around to move further into my growth and freedom. And the turn around is getting easier and easier. Not easy. But easier.

Part of the worry is that I am not necessarily feeling like my old self. I know thats the whole point right! Lol. But the thing is as I have previously mentioned it is scary to think that you may move away, leave or even outgrow people. Letting go is scary and hard. We long for what we know and our comfort zone. The familiar. Even if it doesn’t serve us and the reality is nowhere near where we truly want to be, it somehow feels safe.

Again people have popped up to show they are not necessarily comfortable with the journey that I am on. That they possibly thought it would be a phase and I would go back to my status quo. I understand now more than ever that change in one affects so many around us. Never underestimate the ripple affect you have on your immediate world and the world as a whole.

Many of us seek the spiritual world or something outside of ourselves when we are struggling. But as the initial pain eases and we think things are better or improved it is easier to stop the discovery journey and settle into the new space you find yourself in. Often if people around you once sort solace in the spiritual realm and then moved away from it when they felt better, that place can seem to have a negative connotation to it. It is a place you go when you feel lost or sad. So their concern from their perception is an understandable one. Coming from a place of love. They don’t want you in a dark place and they don’t want you sad.

But seemingly forgotten is that this is a never ending journey. There are steps. Lessons. Ever evolving changes. And whether you like it or not if you are meant to deal with it the situations will arise in order for you to do so. And past the place of understanding on the surface level is an even deeper connection. A certain empowerment that once you get a taste for, you are hooked. Indescribable unless experienced I guess. A little bit like the “only a surfer knows the feeling” philosophy. Except it’s all happening within. No need to wait for mother nature to provide the perfect conditions. They are always already in you.

So my repeat soul lesson from this above scenario of being concerned I am concerning others, is the same old thing that I deal with in every facet of my life over and over again. Should I put others needs in front of my own in order to “maintain being loved”.

This pops up everywhere in my life. In relationships. At work. In my family. With friends. With my children. On social media. In this blog. I have recurring situations in which I constantly question myself on if I am true to myself do I risk not being loved.

Well I can honestly say its becoming more and more a risk I am willing to take! Real love is always around me. The people who stay in my life are the ones that are supposed to. I trust that I am loved and that I am safe. And most importantly I am giving that to myself by ensuring my decisions are all aligned to what I want and need.

So how do you recognise your life lessons? Firstly, I highly recommend, BE HONEST WITH YOURSELF. Not always fun, not always easy. But essential in life.

  • Write down the areas of your life that you are not happy with or that have really affected you in the past.
  • Systematically, go through the list.
  • With each scenario, close your eyes. Take the story out of your mind and connect to the feeling. Place one hand on your gut and one on your heart. What are they telling you? What is it that you feel you need in this space that you are currently not believing is or was there?
  • Open your eyes and write down the first thing that comes up. Don’t filter yourself. Just write.

Do this for each of the scenarios and it would be extremely normal to find some patterns emerging. There may be multiple lessons embedded in these scenarios. But it will bring some clarity to what these areas are.

It is so easy to get caught up in the he said, she said, he/she didn’t do, say, think, act exactly how I wanted them to in order for me to get what I think I want saga.

Well if you take ownership of that and acknowledge that the only person who knows and can consistently deliver what you want and need is YOU, then the real journey to empowerment begins.

This in lies exactly what my mentor was outlining to me all those 11 years ago. It does not matter who is in front of you – husband, wife, father, mother, boss, friend, colleague, stranger. It doesn’t matter where you are – home, work, in a mansion, in commission housing, in a bar, on holiday, stuck in a rut. It doesn’t matter what the situation – romantic dynamic, work dynamic, in a spa at a resort talking with friends, on the sporting field, on a yoga retreat.

Life is going to happen and you are going to be triggered. And the energy at play will be down to whatever your experience has been in order for the lessons you need to learn to play out. You are going to – whether you like it or not – have emotional and energetic feelings to outside stimuli. And the ONLY thing you can control in every single scenario… is your response.

Not the energy. Nope. That will still be there. It will always still be fear of rejection or not feeling appreciated or not being enough. Or whatever it may be for you. That will always be in you.

What changes is your attachment to it. Or how much you continue to believe it to be true.

Are you with me? Get in touch and lets work through decreasing the strength of these  attachments. Life is so much lighter on the other side of holding on and fear:) http://www.soulboundtm.com

Love and light, Michelle xx

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

By Simply Trying We Are Successful

Now we’ve become quite the generations of preachers haven’t we? And I would be lying if I said I wasn’t one of them. And that’s all good. We’re a passionate bunch and I love passion. But SOOOOOOOOOOOOO many of us (myself included) are so good at giving advice and completely shit at listening to our own wisdom.

I know there are multiple reasons for this, usually something to do with us being to emotionally attached to our own situations to see them from a rational standpoint, but there are elements of this that I think we as adults could get better at right away.

I am talking about resilience. How many of you would call yourself a resilient person? I have always considered myself to be. And in some ways I am. I mean I’m still kicking around with a smile on my face despite some pretty heavy stuff going down in my life. But isn’t that all of us? Haven’t we all got some pretty heavy stuff going on? Well many of us anyway.

My children go to a school where one of the core values is RESILIENCE. You know the thing whereby we just keep getting up and dusting ourselves off regardless of how seemingly huge the obstacles are. The will, the want, the knowhow to get to the goals we want to achieve.

Kids are insanely resilient. They face so many new things every day and they more often then not go at it full force or at least give it a crack. They make new friends easily. They learn how to read and write. To do Maths and sports. Swimming. Art. Music. And a multitude of other things. All the while with their hopefully supportive teachers, classmates, parents and families there by their sides reassuring them that it is safe to have a go.

Does this one sound familiar? “It’s only failure if you stop trying” …or  “failure is not the outcome; failure is not trying to begin with” ….

As parents and elders in the community we spout many saying such as these to the younger generation. And its all good and well. They are inspiring messages. But I want you to stop right now and ask yourself; Do you feel you are following the same approach to your day to day life?

Are you where you want to be? If no… are you taking action to change the situation you are in or are you just continuously talking about it, complaining about it and hoping it will all change on its own?

We want the next generation to be the best, happiest most content versions of themselves. But why does that have to mean our time has past?

I am 32 years young and often in conversation with people of similar ages I hear stories of defeat. Of how they wish they could go back and change the course of what has happened. I used to speak like that too. But now I come from a place of NO WAY do I want to go back! I wouldn’t have learnt all the lessons I have learnt and be the person I am today without those experiences; win or failure or indifferent.

Every single thing we have experienced in this life was leading you to somewhere. I encourage you to sit down and write a list of three things:

  1. WINS/ACCOMPLISHMENTS
  2. CHALLENGES/AREAS FOR GROWTH – perceived failures I just don’t love the word
  3. EXPERIENCES THAT HAVE HAD AN IMPACT ON YOU IN SOME WAY

Look at the list. Study it. I almost hands down guarantee that all these three areas will tie together and if you look at it extensively enough it may even give you a little sense of direction or purpose. It may inspire you to utilise your life skills in a new and more inspiring or exciting way. Or you may just feel blessed at the life you have already created and want to keep living.

Either way, its a really interesting exercise and helps to shift perspective on our life overall. Many of us have achieved and experienced so much more than we give ourselves credit for. And it is often this lack of worthiness that colours our world and gets a into this place where we stop trying new things.

I think we often make the ideal of success so seemingly far out of our reach it is often so far from where we are we think what is the point of even starting. Its time to change the mindset of what success actually is. Break it down. Make every little win a reason to celebrate and every perceived challenge or “failure” an opportunity to learn.We stop putting ourselves out there through fear of failing or embarrassing ourselves.

But I say enough. You get one chance in this body. Live it the way you want to! Do stuff that makes you excited. Makes you feel alive. Inspires you. Brings a grin to your face and gets you bubbling with enthusiasm and excitement.

Whatever it may be! Just have a go!

I’ll leave you this week with this. Its a link to a clip of me teaching myself to play keyboard. I am by no means great but I love to have a sing and it makes me happy. So why shouldn’t I give it a go!

Love and Light, Michelle xxx

The Fear Rationale

Fear. Procrastination inducer. Self saboteur ring leader. Keeper to the gates around ones heart. Anxiety generator. Instigator of blame. Projection master.

Yet at key times; our closest ally.

It is said we are only born with two types of fears. Fear of falling and fear of loud noises. If I am to break this down for you; have you ever felt you’ve been teetering on the brink of REM sleep and suddenly either with or without you remembering what triggers it you are suddenly jolted awake? It felt like you fell. Maybe you remember what was happening in your dream, maybe you don’t. But your unconscious is telling you it felt like you fell; OR have you ever jumped out of your skin at a loud noise? Even if you see all the events that lead up to the noise being created or you have experienced that noise before on multiple occasions yet it still startles you.

I always found these experiences so intriguing. After the initial shock of it all that is. It feels so real. Like even though on one level you can rationalise the experience it FEELS SO REAL. So when I heard this explanation that resonated with me, my interest in this whole phenomenon of fear spiked.

So two types of fear they say… You see it is thought by many in the spiritual and the scientific world that these fears are indeed innate. Encoded in our DNA. They exist in all human beings as survival mechanisms. The fear of falling is thought to stem from the experience of our soul dropping down into our body and trying to figure out exactly how to shift into this new state. From light to physical matter. Survival mode. As once in the human form, the act of falling from any great height challenges our very mortality.

The fear of loud noises is also encoded as a survival technique. Loud noises can often signify or alert us to danger and the need for the sympathetic nervous system flight or flight to kick in. Take a read below.

http://edition.cnn.com/2015/10/29/health/science-of-fear/

So think about this for a moment. All the other fears and phobias we experience as human beings are down to environmental conditioning. All of them. Every single thing outside of falling (or heights/skydiving/anything that results in possible falling) or loud noises is not a fear you have to just live with. It is not something you just have to accept as part of yourself and lose out on some valuable life experiences due to it.

Now you may be saying I am ok with not going near spiders or snakes or doing public speaking. And that may be fine. Like any change things generally need to get uncomfortable in the status quo before we seek to alter it. But I am talking here more about the less discussed fears. The ones we don’t like to own up to. The ones we will do almost anything to avoid even acknowledging let alone working to dissolve them. Those buggers are the worst. Or are they? Depends, as always, on perception.

This past month the Consciousness Coaches and myself have been set a challenge by our leader (ha didn’t mean that to sound extra terrestrial but we are all amazingly out of this world!;) It was called the FUCK FEAR CHALLENGE. Every single day for 30 days we were held accountable by ourselves and each other to post on our group page one fear we faced that day and any action we took around leaning into it. And let me tell you no word of a lie; it was one of the most PROFOUND things I have ever been a part of.

Every single one of us made some massive shifts. We let go of things that no longer serve us. We acknowledged parts of ourselves we were ashamed of or scared of sharing out of fear of being rejected or unlovable. We faced financial survival fears. Attachment to material things. The desire for material things. Allowing in love. Being seen. Expressing around the notion of not being enough. Facing people who had done wrong by us. Boundary building. Workplace shifts. Standing up and holding our own space when we weren’t being respected. Speaking our truth to those close to us. Learning when to save our energy and just exit the situation. Learning to honour our bodies and our urges……The list goes on and on and on. The shifts were incredible and oh so freakin inspiring! And let me tell you they all come back to the environmental ideas we create that if we are not (*insert whatever you tell yourself here) we wont be loved, accepted, connected and hence part of the tribe.

But the one thing we all agreed on at the end was how incredible the lens of fear can be. How crippling. How strong. But how wonderful it is too. It honestly became our friend.

Without fear there is no motivation. No driving force. No incentive to change. No hope for a different outcome or future. Without fear there is no way that any of us would ever actually grow. We would all just be happy cruising along in our standard little lives never really experiencing all the things that life has to offer. Not truly LIVING! GROWING! EVOLVING!

So next time you notice a fear come up in you, jot it down. Sit with it. What is it trying to protect you from? Some will be rational. Some irrational. But what is it truly masking? Because it is sitting in you as a catalyst for change. It is exciting. It is your future. And you can take it, acknowledge it and then pop it aside so you can step even more into your light every single time.

The choice is all yours. Are you willing?

Love and light, Michelle xxx

My Types of Archetypes

Is being single the worst thing in the world?  This is what I have been questioning myself of late, over and over again. I flip between feeling sad and feeling great about it and essentially I realise it is not something you either can, or should for that matter, force. But there are times when it would be nice to have someone to share the moments with. To live with. Laugh with. Even someone to disagree with. Make love to. Spoon with. But most of all, someone to grow with.

So how ironic, that as I sat to write this and flicked on the TV for background noise, none other than Miss Bridget Jones herself was staring back at me. Let me tell you, the scene where she’s eating ice-cream and sobbing to “All By Myself” had me in awkwardly uncontrollable hysterics of laughter. Possibly too close to reality for me. In this laugh or cry moment, I chose laugh. To an outsider watching, I am sure it would’ve looked like I could turn at any moment. Another questionable sanity moment, brought to you by yours truly;)

But really, I am ok. I realise I am lucky. I have two amazing children, who keep me young and grounded and grateful for every day. I also get me time, where I am consciously learning a deep understanding of myself and why I do the things I do, on top of letting my hair down and enjoying life. So when I got the opportunity to partake in an extra PD course for Life Lessons and Soul Contracts, I jumped at the chance. Thank you again Eryka Stanton!

The basis of this weekend course was to determine our personality traits. It was stated and I believe that the particular traits that we take on are not just by chance or environmental. They are in fact part of our life plan to learn the lessons we are here to learn on the journey to enlightenment. Freedom. Acceptance. Being.

By establishing these traits we can determine exactly how and why we react the way we do to situations. What drives us. What upsets us. What triggers us. Angers us. Hurts us. Inspires us. It was described as a blue print to this lifetime. Exciting to say the least! And let me tell you, it did not disappoint. Some of the insights I got about myself were so deep, some a little unsettling, but so freeing.

So the basic run down is that every human being on the planet has 12 life long personality traits – archetypes – that help us to learn the life lessons we are here to learn. Other archetypes may come in and out in particular life stages or situations however they are temporary. Your 12 are for life. Every single human has 4 universal archetypes that are tied up with our basic needs for survival, on an energetic level.  The Child, The Victim, The Prostitute and The Saboteur. The other 8 are encoded at birth. The list of these archetypes is extensive and as society changes, so does the list. It is more about what resonates with how you see yourself.

The key to this process is to take any strong opinions out of the picture. I mean who would necessarily claim the prostitute? Society would have you believe it generally as negative.  But when you look into the archetype it is less about sex and more about trading in your values and morals in order to gain anything. Material or financial is usually where this is at. The level of fear that is behind the notion that if you do not sell that product, work for that company with questionable morals, conduct yourself in certain ways that don’t reflect your values and morals; these are all forms of prostitution. Well the negative side of prostitution. As everything in life there is a flip side. A light aspect to balance out the shadow. And that is how it was discussed. Every archetype has the ability to be expressed in either its light form or its shadow form. The light side to the Prostitute is having self worth, boundaries and integrity. Not surprisingly, when the shadow is being expressed – this in lies any of your life fears and pain, but is also where you will find the answer to gaining peace.

For instance through the process of finding my extra 8, I was blown away when “The Judge” kept coming up. This was not something that I wanted to take on. I always thought of myself as quite open, understanding and accepting. I had a strong negative emotional reaction to this archetype being attached to me as a person. In that moment, I completely forgot I had just learnt that the judge also has a light aspect to it. It seeks justice, standardisation and fairness across the board. It advocates for equality and seeks mediation and resolution. It is purely my perception that the judge is rigid, bossy and unwilling to listen to others points of view. And the kicker peeps, it is always when we project these things that it is a true reflection of self. So right there, it felt uncomfortable to hear about myself but a massive opportunity to learn and grow! And seriously, when you are completely real and honest with yourself it is the best feeling in the world. Pure acceptance of my true self. Carolyn Myss is where it is at for a great starting point in terms of literature on this topic if you want to have a read.

So after a while we got to talking about love and relationships. It was only myself and one other single girl in the room. It was explained that on that day when you decide to commit yourself to that other person, it is not just you and them but your 12 other friends and their 12 other friends deciding to love each other. And when you look at it like that, true love is just honestly quite phenomenal.

So I can’t force it. I can’t create it out of nothing. I have to trust what will be will be and it is exciting to think that my dream guy and his 12 friends are out their wondering where I and my 12 friends are too. But the best thing I can do now is to work on the notion of the law of attraction. Like seeks like. I attempt to not be sad I am ‘single’. It is an amazing opportunity for me to work at bringing all of my 12 friends into the light, so that when we attract someone new, the likeliness that they too will be in a place of light, is greatly increased. Don’t get me wrong, we’re all human. I don’t expect all sunshine and rainbows. I believe that like Shrek, all archetypes are like onions. They have multiple layers. But as you peel them back, they get smaller and easier to peel away. It still makes your eyes water, but it is definitely not for as long or as intense.

So if I want to attract what I really want than I will be what I think that amazing dream man will be. For I am looking for my equal. Someone to laugh with. Grow with. Enjoy life with. Ups, downs and all the in betweens.

So go tell your loved one you love them. And their 12 friends. Relationships never really get boring. Everyone has so many elements to them. There is always more to learn and a new layer of intimacy to be had. I hope if nothing else you leave this article and go to appreciate another layer of your love. Or of yourself.

Peace, love and light

Much love, Michelle xxx

 

 

For The Love Of Your Soul

Love. Wonderful, heart-warming, all consuming, body aching, soul-redeeming love. You just have to love, love. For love it its true form, shows no boundaries. It is unconditional. Divine. Pure. It is not just a construct we have placed around a word. It has real feeling. Emotion. Life. Without love, a human can simply not survive. What an undeniably powerful and amazing thing.

We as humans, show and receive this love in many many different forms. Often  with many different rules regarding how, who, what and why we will or won’t love something. On many occasions we are not tuned in to why someone we care about is behaving a certain way and we think they are being a giant asshole. But often, if that someone is someone close, in their mind their actions are out of love. It just may be coming from a place of fear. Fear for you, fear for your safety, fear of losing your connection, fear of rejection or many other things we as humans are fearful of. The fear comes from the thought that if something happens to lose this love, it threatens your survival. The irony, it’s the fearful actions that usually lead to relationship breakdowns.

So it isn’t really surprising, that when it comes to a situation in life such as romantic relationships in which we may have to work hard at on a daily basis, we will want to create an epitome. We love to have something to work towards. To prove we have won, succeeded, are better than others or just smashing every area of life. Or alternatively, something or someone to blame if things don’t work out how we imagined when everything was exciting and new in the beginning. So what is the epitome of a romantic partner?

It is your SOULMATE…

This word came up tonight and I got to thinking. Where did the idea even come from? Is it real? Is it helpful to put that pressure and expectations a relationship and is it possible to have more than one?

Now I don’t know the answer but wow what a fascinating thing to research! Essentially, it doesn’t matter what the “answer” is, as your truth is the only thing that counts; but seriously I just wanted to share what I found out about a concept we love to dream about and idealise, or if you’re a believer, live by. Obviously there are many schools of thought and every religion seems to have their take.

  • In Judaism a soulmate is called a “Bashert” a Yiddish word meaning ‘destiny’. They believe marriages are made in heaven and are chosen before we are even born.

 

  • Plato described early humans to have two faces, four arms and four legs. As per punishment for not existing as the Gods had envisaged, humans were cut in half and sewn back together at the navel. In this process the male half left with one half of the soul and the female with the other. They then spent the rest of their time on earth in search of their other half, so they could again feel complete. To lay side by side and become whole again, was deemed the epitome of happiness.

 

  • Some mediums believe in soul contracts. These are contracts that are made before we come into our human form stating we will carry out specific relationships with other specific souls during their time on earth, with the preceded intention of both souls interacting to give each other lessons and elements of the journey they need in the current incarnation.

 

  • Buddhism however, believes that although it is possible for one to believe in this notion so strongly, that the fear surrounding the idea of not pursuing the other half of their soul or the energy they will always feel incomplete without,  is too much to bare. It is only by seeking this epitome with the goal of one day finding it, that the form (body/person), will feel secure in this process, until they are ready to evolve or move on from that perceived attachment. Does the religion itself believe in the construct? In short, no.

And the list goes on and on. I was reading for hours. Love me some philosophy! How fascinating. Seriously though it is now ridiculous o’clock and I am completely immersed in this stuff. I am trying to figure out what I feel about it all.

Being a single girl, can sometimes bring up a little bit of fear. Will I die alone with my cats and no one finds me until the cat has eaten half my face off kind of stuff. (Yes SATC if you got it). Just those standard fears. But as I am delving into the work I am doing to unpack all my shit and let go of it for good, I am realising that none of these fears are serving any purpose in me trying to have the life I dream of. Where all is good and I give and receive love without conditions. That is the existence I hope to move toward.

It is easy to say to our loved ones, I love you no matter what. But what if your partner had an affair, what if they killed a child and left the scene, what if your child robbed someone of their life savings or even something as simple as followed their heart to someone you didn’t feel was right for them? Would you still offer them unconditional, unwavering love?

To me that is what a true soul mate would do. Would look past the event, past how it looks to the outside – including yourself – past any judgements, past any personalising of the event. To look solely to you and how that event needed to happen in both of your lives in order to learn the lessons you both needed to learn. Even if the lesson is repeated a thousand times over. In order for your soul to grow, be nourished and thrive. In order to be the best you that you can be.

Lets be honest, that is a pretty tall ask for most of us. And the only reason I say that is because most of us don’t even know how to give that kind of unconditional love to ourselves. To not beat ourselves up over our lessons. To be able to step back and look at it all from a place of learning and growth. For it is only when we truly love ourselves we have the capacity to truly love others without prejudice and condition. To see the big picture.

Therefore I think this soul journey, is solely for one. And when you are on the path to seeking your own complete soul, everything and everyone else that comes to you is a bonus!

Deep? Yeah maybe, but my soul mate will definitely get it! Oh wait, I do!

Now go tell yourself, you love you no matter what!

You are eternally safe and loved, Michelle xxx