Monochrome Existence

MASSIVE IMPERFECT ACTION

This statement has been highlighted and popping up everywhere in my world this year. From my mentor Eryka Stanton. Online female entrepreneur master Grace Lever. Memes. The Chinese Year of the Fire Rooster. It’s all about just doing it. Push through the uncertainty and fear and get it done. It’s a numerological and astrological “1” year and it’s all about new beginnings. Love this little clip below. It gets me excited and ready to get going.

But as with any action there is an equal and opposite reaction. A polarity. Duality. The shadow and the light. And I have never seen anyone just breeze through a life change without at least a flicker of holy shit can I really do this?

Since I wrote my last post two weeks ago so much has been happening. I completed the study component to my Consciousness Coaching course, I was attuned to channel the Palloweh energy healing modality, I got another step into another project I have started and am super excited about and I strengthened bonds with some key people in my world. LOTS of action. And lots of positive action. But I hands down 100% got writers block and despite all that was going on I could not think of anything to say. And I missed this reflective platform. But the thought of doing it was causing me to get a bit anxious.

Then when I went to discuss a space to do my therapies from and got greeted with a barrage of limiting beliefs I wasn’t expecting my confidence got a bit shook up. Things such as people don’t believe sharing of Reiki energy should be charged for; it taken our only other practitioner 12 years to build her client base, no walk ins want life coaching. Etc etc. Basically through obviously her experience (valid) and her beliefs (also valid to her but not gospel) she had unknowingly just demotivated me from coming to work from that centre. What I thought and felt from all other contact was going to be a mutually beneficial relationship just took a really big turn. If I don’t feel supported there it’s time for a change of plan.

But as I left and went to have dinner with a friend I was having a bit of a rant. This interaction had triggered a shadow aspect in me. I was defensive. I was ranting. I was deflecting the feeling and fear of am I capable, am I worthy, onto this scenario and allowing myself to take one persons opinion (albeit someone whom I respect) and make it mean that I won’t succeed in this world.

And putting that kind of energy out there can only equal instant blockages on attracting the beautiful souls I really want to be working with.

It’s a tough gig sometimes. It’s a bit scary. I don’t always know what the fuck I am doing. But I do know it feels right. I do know I help people. I do know it’s coming from a place of love and genuinely wanting to support others through hardships, growth and change. Like the special souls that have helped me. But life is reality and I also need to provide for myself and my children. So putting myself in an unsupportive environment will not help to facilitate that.

I just have to trust that the universe knows what’s right. I’ll find my space. I have a feeling it’ll be when I least expect it. But for now a little polarity on the last two weeks. A bit of reflection. Self care. Long baths. Self love. And a shit load of practicing my own tools and modalities on myself 😆

Just keep swimming crew. Others inability to see your worth in no way reflects upon you. But how you chose to react to that does.

This is my mantra for the week and beyond.

Love and light to all,
Michelle 💗✨

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s