Love. Wonderful, heart-warming, all consuming, body aching, soul-redeeming love. You just have to love, love. For love it its true form, shows no boundaries. It is unconditional. Divine. Pure. It is not just a construct we have placed around a word. It has real feeling. Emotion. Life. Without love, a human can simply not survive. What an undeniably powerful and amazing thing.
We as humans, show and receive this love in many many different forms. Often with many different rules regarding how, who, what and why we will or won’t love something. On many occasions we are not tuned in to why someone we care about is behaving a certain way and we think they are being a giant asshole. But often, if that someone is someone close, in their mind their actions are out of love. It just may be coming from a place of fear. Fear for you, fear for your safety, fear of losing your connection, fear of rejection or many other things we as humans are fearful of. The fear comes from the thought that if something happens to lose this love, it threatens your survival. The irony, it’s the fearful actions that usually lead to relationship breakdowns.
So it isn’t really surprising, that when it comes to a situation in life such as romantic relationships in which we may have to work hard at on a daily basis, we will want to create an epitome. We love to have something to work towards. To prove we have won, succeeded, are better than others or just smashing every area of life. Or alternatively, something or someone to blame if things don’t work out how we imagined when everything was exciting and new in the beginning. So what is the epitome of a romantic partner?
It is your SOULMATE…
This word came up tonight and I got to thinking. Where did the idea even come from? Is it real? Is it helpful to put that pressure and expectations a relationship and is it possible to have more than one?
Now I don’t know the answer but wow what a fascinating thing to research! Essentially, it doesn’t matter what the “answer” is, as your truth is the only thing that counts; but seriously I just wanted to share what I found out about a concept we love to dream about and idealise, or if you’re a believer, live by. Obviously there are many schools of thought and every religion seems to have their take.
- In Judaism a soulmate is called a “Bashert” a Yiddish word meaning ‘destiny’. They believe marriages are made in heaven and are chosen before we are even born.
- Plato described early humans to have two faces, four arms and four legs. As per punishment for not existing as the Gods had envisaged, humans were cut in half and sewn back together at the navel. In this process the male half left with one half of the soul and the female with the other. They then spent the rest of their time on earth in search of their other half, so they could again feel complete. To lay side by side and become whole again, was deemed the epitome of happiness.
- Some mediums believe in soul contracts. These are contracts that are made before we come into our human form stating we will carry out specific relationships with other specific souls during their time on earth, with the preceded intention of both souls interacting to give each other lessons and elements of the journey they need in the current incarnation.
- Buddhism however, believes that although it is possible for one to believe in this notion so strongly, that the fear surrounding the idea of not pursuing the other half of their soul or the energy they will always feel incomplete without, is too much to bare. It is only by seeking this epitome with the goal of one day finding it, that the form (body/person), will feel secure in this process, until they are ready to evolve or move on from that perceived attachment. Does the religion itself believe in the construct? In short, no.
And the list goes on and on. I was reading for hours. Love me some philosophy! How fascinating. Seriously though it is now ridiculous o’clock and I am completely immersed in this stuff. I am trying to figure out what I feel about it all.
Being a single girl, can sometimes bring up a little bit of fear. Will I die alone with my cats and no one finds me until the cat has eaten half my face off kind of stuff. (Yes SATC if you got it). Just those standard fears. But as I am delving into the work I am doing to unpack all my shit and let go of it for good, I am realising that none of these fears are serving any purpose in me trying to have the life I dream of. Where all is good and I give and receive love without conditions. That is the existence I hope to move toward.
It is easy to say to our loved ones, I love you no matter what. But what if your partner had an affair, what if they killed a child and left the scene, what if your child robbed someone of their life savings or even something as simple as followed their heart to someone you didn’t feel was right for them? Would you still offer them unconditional, unwavering love?
To me that is what a true soul mate would do. Would look past the event, past how it looks to the outside – including yourself – past any judgements, past any personalising of the event. To look solely to you and how that event needed to happen in both of your lives in order to learn the lessons you both needed to learn. Even if the lesson is repeated a thousand times over. In order for your soul to grow, be nourished and thrive. In order to be the best you that you can be.
Lets be honest, that is a pretty tall ask for most of us. And the only reason I say that is because most of us don’t even know how to give that kind of unconditional love to ourselves. To not beat ourselves up over our lessons. To be able to step back and look at it all from a place of learning and growth. For it is only when we truly love ourselves we have the capacity to truly love others without prejudice and condition. To see the big picture.
Therefore I think this soul journey, is solely for one. And when you are on the path to seeking your own complete soul, everything and everyone else that comes to you is a bonus!
Deep? Yeah maybe, but my soul mate will definitely get it! Oh wait, I do!
Now go tell yourself, you love you no matter what!
You are eternally safe and loved, Michelle xxx