Back and Forth to the In-Between

Restoration, Peace, Balance, Clarity, Stillness…. Do these concepts sound good to you? Do they seem realistic? Obtainable? Sustainable? These were the questions I was asking myself leading into this weekend. You see, I was blessed to spend my Mothers Day weekend at a Charkra Balancing retreat and OMG what an experience it was.

So how did I get there? Well, throughout my experiences I, as most of us, have had many trials and tribulations. But for whatever reason through out my, somewhat dramatic, highs and lows I had until recently, thought I was in no need of extra assistance. I didn’t need a therapist. That is for people who aren’t in touch with themselves and their feelings isn’t it? And I am a thoughtful, deep, intelligent, spiritual, reflective soul who will eventually figure it all out on my own. Right?……RIGHT!? Oh how wrong I was……

No ladies and gentlemen I am not a no therapist person. I am not even a one therapist person. I, in fact, have acquired and cherish the services of TWO sensational therapists. One specialising in Psychotherapy and Reiki and the other in Addiction Studies and Back Engineering. I began working with them both part way through last year and the insights and growth I have had and made in that time is both immeasurable and profound. It was most definitely the right path at the right time, for me.

So when my Psychotherapist and Reiki Master said to me that she was running a Charkra Balancing weekend I was intrigued. If she said I would benefit from it, then I was going to have a red hot go at attending. Thankfully Baby Daddy was on board with assisting and off I went to the Nalini Retreat, Yuki, in sunny northern New South Wales. Very adorably, upon hearing about my trip, my son went to his money box, retrieved $100.00 and told me it was for my trip on Mothers Day…. Cue melting hearts….AWWWWWW……My daughter saw this go down and my emotional reaction to it and quickly ran away to her bedroom. A couple of seconds later she appeared. “Mummy this is for your trip”. She handed me $2.50 from her money box.

I know right. I preceded to bawl, laugh hysterically and snort all at once for these adorable human beings I had a hand in creating. And if your reaction was lol how cheap is little miss, then you should see how highly she regards a gold coin! She’d easily hand you a $50 note over one of those any day of the week as the notes are not as pretty. So, needless to say, I was floored by their gestures and highly amused all at once. So this became my Mothers Day gift. What better way to spend it than working on myself I say!

So, you may ask, what the hell is a Charkra Balancing weekend? Well don’t worry I am still not entirely sure myself.. But I did get the basics and I have added an insightful link from another health retreat in the region, Gaia, below to give you ideas on how to restore your own chakras in the space of your own home.

This next part is my take on what it was….

Charkras are areas within the body that give, store and receive energetic waves from all that makes up the universe. The earth, the stars, the flora, the fauna, our fellow humans all give and receive energetic waves every second, of every minute, of every day. You may not always be aware of these energies as some are more subtle than others but all have an affect on our state of being. The type and size of this affect is where it differs from individual to individual. But the awesome part is, by becoming aware of these waves and how they affect you, you can both decrease negative impacts and increase positive outcomes by learning how to channel these energies.

Got it? Easy right! So now you and I are sorted and life will be great and we will never struggle again and chocolate will have zero calories and pizza is a vegetable….

Damn it! It is sooooo NOT easy! In fact parts of the weekend were downright exhausting! We worked through the 7 chakras and determined in which we each had blockages. How they determine this I do not know, but they can seem to see and feel the blocked energy by your reactions to certain exercises, what parts of the body you are struggling in and body language and emotions you display. It’s insanely amazing to be honest. All you really have to do, is go in with an open mind and allow the process to happen around you as best you can.

Exercises included, restorative yoga poses specific to opening each charkra, Qi Gong – a moving meditation, talking to and taking care of your ‘inner child’, staring into the eyes of someone you have never before met and sharing you fears, accomplishments and things you are grateful with them and walking around in a circle making interpretative dance like movements and noises as if you are a bird, ballerina or tribal elder. Sound like your idea of a good time? Bet most of you are going Ahhhh NO THANKS! Lol…

To be real, there were many times I felt like an absolute nut job. But when I thought about it, I feel a bit like that in every day life any way, so why not let loose out here in the bush and give this experience my all. So that’s what I did. And let me tell you I am so glad I did. It was so freeing and uplifting and eye opening, I wish the government had a program in which they subsidised things like this for every Australian to do at least once a year. Big dreams I know. But a girl can dream…..And have something to work towards…

So I had such an amazing experience with so many things I was going to write about but then something even more prevalent happened that I thought it would be of more importance to share today. The other goodies will come later I am sure. So the time came where I had to leave this amazing place and head home. This was the prevalent thing….Home time. So life went on as normal, as it does and threw a couple of things my way to see what I had learnt. I think it does that don’t you? Not in a spiteful way. Just to check where you’re at, give you a little tester/kick up the butt, make sure you’re awake and show you that you can handle everything it throws at you. So in the 4 hours after leaving the retreat, my flight got delayed, I missed out on seeing my children on Mothers Day, I caved and ate Hungry Jacks at the airport after eating only the most amazing organic food, and worst of all, I got upset about these things happening.

So it did cross my mind….WT* did I just learn? Did I take any of it in at all? It felt so good and relatable and freeing while I was in it, then as soon as I leave I am a big mess all over again! Then while sitting on my late flight back with a tummy ache from my burger and chicken fries and my sooky face in full force, my therapist came into my head. She was telling us about this exact moment. This moment when you’re feeling sorry for yourself, things aren’t going the way you want them to, you didn’t treat your body, your mind, yourself or someone else in a loving caring way; whatever it is that you’re beating yourself up for, STOP!!!!

For this is actually a powerful moment! A moment in time where you, and only you, have the complete power and control to say, you know what this is a waste of my time and energy and I no longer want to feed that negative thought. I will replace it with a positive one. I know this is easier said than done but as I would say to my children “Practice makes perfect!” It may take years but that would be fair enough too considering how long the brain has been hearing the negative bullshit we tell ourselves. However long it takes me to make this way of thinking my default instead of the self bashing stuff I do, I am committed.

No matter how many times I go back and forth between the good and bad thoughts I will keep going. It is that space between the thoughts that is the powerful place. The place where we decide are we changing or are we sticking with the same old thing we’ve always done? I vote change. I will always try for growth and change as I seek the stillness and peace that comes from this in between and the power of the decision to keep moving forward.

Much love, Michelle xxx

2 thoughts on “Back and Forth to the In-Between

  1. Sonia says:

    Our Chelle,
    reading this makes me feel like we are sitting on the steps outside Just One Thai chatting & forgetting that people are actually relying on us to eat!
    (The honesty & openess you read in this blog is why Michelle is loved by many)
    Anyone that knows you, knows that you love BIG!
    It’s infectious! How can you not love a girl that openly & without hesitation tells you she loves you & it’s often followed by a compliment.
    Chelle you know I always find your honesty & openess so refreshing. Don’t ever stop been you & that includes ripping a big snort during a burst of laughter.
    Looking forward to watching you practice Yoga in the backyard at Christmas. (Hopefully a leave pass to see you before)
    Love you to the moon & the stars xxx


    • asfatewouldhouseit says:

      Sonay 😭❤️❤️❤️… I thought your beautiful words on FB were beyond lovely and then I read this…. Thank you…. Words don’t cut it. Thank you for always loving me for exactly what I am and I know I’ve made that interesting over the years:) you’re an inspiration to me and I wish every day was Christmas so we could hang out always. Squeeze the rug rats and my bro for me:) Love you all to the moon and stars 😘😘😘😘💖


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s